A Defining Moment
by momofboys
Summary: Jack wrestles with something in his past which keeps him from opening up to Sue.
1. Chapter 1

Slamming her locker door, the young blond didn't notice the glances her way, nor did she realize the noise that slamming the metal door had made. The silence that enveloped her was a normal part of life, and when she was at home, or with her few real friends, she rarely thought about it. But here, in the midst of her peers, she felt the weight of being different and unaccepted.

Heading to her final class of the day, she silently prayed that Mr. Nelson, her science teacher, would make an effort to face her. He was the worst for forgetting to look her way, and if it had not been for the notes he gave her after class, she would be completely lost. Sue realized that it was unintentional, as the man was older and had never had a deaf person in class before, but it did not make it any easier on her.

Arriving in class, she took her seat, and began shuffling through her notebook to find her homework. When she looked up, she was surprised to see a substitute, and hoped this meant no lecture today. As the young woman in the front of the room began pacing back and forth, Sue became immediately frustrated. There was no way she could read her with the constant movement, often leaving her line of sight. Sighing, she allowed her thoughts to shift from the classroom to the deaf club she would attend later tonight.

Her mother had only allowed her to start attending deaf club in the last year, and Sue found it to be what she looked forward to each month. It was the one place where she fit in. Most of her deaf friends did not know that she read lips and spoke. There were some deaf that did not look kindly on those who were oral, so Sue chose to not mention it. Instead, she spent her evenings enjoying the companionship of others who lived in silence. Those who understood how she felt and what she thought. The people who shared her world. Looking around the room, she knew that no one here understood her. She was an outsider looking in, with no way to completely break through the barrier. It was not their fault they could not enter her world any more than it was her fault she could not enter theirs. But somehow when she was with other deaf, everything fell into place.

Considering the evening ahead, her mind could not help but think of Joey. They had met at deaf club, and had seen each other on several occasions since. For the last couple of months, he had been calling her, and they had gone out a few times. This weekend was his prom, and he had invited her to go with him. It was exciting, and she had said yes right away, but now she had started to feel uncomfortable. He seemed to have the idea that prom night was about more than the prom. The last few conversations they had, he had seemed to be insinuating something more than Sue was willing to give.

Just thinking about his mention of a hotel room brought red into her cheeks. Bringing her hand up, she touched the necklace that she wore without fail. Her father had given it to her on her 16th birthday. It was a heart shaped locket which had a place for a key. It symbolized the promise she had made to God and to her future husband. A promise to wait for him. Her father kept the key to give to the man she would marry. Deep in her heart, she knew that Joey was not that man, and she knew she would have to explain to him that she was not interested in the kind of relationship that he was obviously suggesting. And yet, she felt uneasy about explaining it to him. She wanted so badly to be accepted, and somehow she knew that he would never understand this decision.

Seeing her classmates beginning to fumble around in her books, she re-focused on what was going on in the classroom. She would deal with Joey when she saw him later. Her immediate problem was finding out what she was supposed to be doing in science.


	2. Chapter 2

Adding another 20 pounds onto the bar, the dark haired boy went back to lay on the bench. Frustration surged through his body, and he used the extra energy it induced to add to his workout. Pushing up on the bar, he placed all his attention on the effort to keep it steady as he brought it closer to his chest, and then pushed it up again. After several repetitions he moved the bar back to its resting place, just as he heard a familiar voice behind him.

"Only one thing causes you to workout like this. So, you and Allie having problems?"

Jack smiled slightly as he turned to meet the gaze of his track coach. "Not really us having problems as much as other people prying into our relationship. Apparently a lot of people have opinions about what should happen between us, and they are glad to share them." It didn't seem odd to him to reveal this much to the older man. Coach Smith had been more than just a coach to Jack. He had become a friend, and confidant. One of those teachers who would forever be remembered as a man who made a difference in the lives of the students he came in contact with.

"I remember how peer pressure can be. I also remember that giving in to it rarely made me happy. You have to stand firm on what you believe is right. You and Allie are good together. Don't ruin your friendship by listening to those guys." The coach had moved to sit in front of the bench where Jack was sitting, and he looked deep into Jack's eyes. "Trust me when I tell you, once you make a mistake, you can't go back and undo it. No matter how much you wish you could. You have to live your life, and not allow others to make your decisions for you."

Nodding his head, Jack truly understood what the man was trying to tell him. However, he couldn't shake the echoes of the voices that had recently bombarded him. "How do you fight it? I mean, I am a guy. Between the guys bugging me, and the girls bugging Allie, and the temptations when we are together, how do you keep yourself from giving in?" Even as he spoke, he felt the heat rush to his face. Normally he was not so open in sharing his feelings, but he felt like he needed to talk about this, and he didn't know who else to go to.

"Jack, you have to make some boundaries. Temptations are all over the place, but you must find a way to avoid as many as possible. Don't let yourself be in a compromising position. And when you hear all those guys talking about what they did, try to remind yourself of something. Do you want to marry a girl who sleeps around? If the answer is no, then the question is, why would a woman who has waited for you, want any less?"

Jack looked into the eyes of the man sitting in front of him. The question he had asked was amazingly simple, yet profound. Deep in Jack's heart, he knew that though he cared a great deal for Allie, she wasn't 'the one'. Somehow they had become comfortable with each other, dating on and off since middle school, but his heart still looked for something more. He was unsure if she felt the same way. If the conversation they had about prom was any indication, he was afraid that she did not share his convictions. She had seemed to be more open to the possibility of submitting to the peer pressure. Her exact words were, "Jack, it's just one night." But he knew it wasn't just one night, and he was sure that if he lowered his guard, she would realize all too late that it wasn't just one night for her either.

Resolving to protect both his heart and Allie's, he stood in front of Coach Smith. "Thanks Coach. You have been a great help. I think I am going for a run."

Smiling Coach Smith watched as the boy left. He had heard many girls talk about him, each one wishing they were as fortunate as Allie. Yet, he was sure that none of those girls, including Allie, had any idea what a fine man Jack truly was. Many boys crossed his path, but few boys showed the character that Jack possessed. Praying silently, he asked God to allow Jack to find the courage to show integrity throughout his life. He felt fortunate that Jack had opened up to him, and that he had been able to help in even some small way.


	3. Chapter 3

_Thanks to all who are reading this. I wrote this awhile back for another board as a challenge story. I am only posting it here because of the wonderful reviews I have received from some of you on other stories. I don't write to receive reviews, however, when people are so kind to me, I do want to share more of my writing. You will note, that my stories have a lot of what I believe in them. I am not one to shy away from that. As we go on with this story, what I believe about certain things will be very clear. You may not agree with me, and I don't mind that. In fact, I welcome people who disagree to share that with me...I only ask that you do it in a way that is respectful to me and others who believe like me. In turn, I will be respectful back. I make no apologies for what I stand for, and would be happy to discuss it with anyone who cares to. Enough about me...on with the story. _

* * *

Glad to be in the office alone, Jack sat trying to focus on the case in front of him. He re-read the sentence he had read at least five times now, still not sure what it said. Closing his eyes, he tried to force his brain to focus. Try as he might, the conversation from the previous night kept playing in his mind.

He had been on a date with Rhonda, the most recent girl in his life. Though they had only dated a short time, she had made it clear what her intentions were. It wasn't like she had been hiding them. In fact, on their second date they had gone to the mall. She claimed she wanted to eat at a restaurant there, but it seemed to Jack that it had been a ploy to get him into the jewelry store, where she showed him the ring that she really liked. Trying not to embarrass her, he had acted half interested, but had tried to make it clear to her later that he was not interested in marriage at this moment. Moments like that had led to the conversation from last night.

The couple had gone to eat, and then they were supposed to see a movie. However, Rhonda wanted to go back to her place. Giving in, they had headed back to her apartment, where she had nearly thrown herself at him. Jack had quickly erected the wall that came up every time he was in a similar situation, and it had made her irate. She had gone on a tirade about how he just didn't want to settle down, and that he was afraid of commitment. After apologizing for any misunderstanding he had left, only to be greeted by a ringing phone the minute he walked in the door. She had apologized and begged him to see her when she returned from her business trip in a couple of weeks. He had assured her they would get together, and then promised that he understood her frustration.

The problem was, she was right. He was afraid of commitment. It hadn't worked out well the last time, and he surely could not imagine ever trying it again. Besides that, in his heart, he knew that if he wanted to commit, it would not be to Rhonda. Truth be told, he had at first enjoyed spending time with her, but she was beginning to grate on his nerves. High maintenance women did not keep his attention long, and she was the epitome of high maintenance.

In his honest moments, he realized that he would probably never settle down. He loved his job, and many women would not understand the lifestyle it involved. Most relationships he had tried to have were destroyed by the hours he kept, and the passion he felt for what he did, as well as the fact he could discuss none of it with them.

More than that though, relationships had failed because he had only been in love once. She had been the one to understand his job, feel his passion, and love him in spite of his flaws. However, he had not been able to help her when she needed it most. Instead, he had caused her more pain. The mistakes he made with her, he had promised himself he would never make again. When he had closed the door on her, he had closed the door on feeling anything again. All he felt now was the grief, pain, and guilt he carried from that relationship. He welcomed these feelings as they went a long way in assuring that he would never get close to anyone like that again. Even now, just remembering, caused the guilt to overwhelm him.

The voice reached his ears, pulling him out of his thoughts. "Hi, I'm Sue Thomas. Your new special project." Lifting his head he met the fiery gaze of a young blond. He was unsure of why she was calling herself his "new special project", but it appeared he was about to find out.

"Um…I'm Jack Hudson." It was all he could think to say, and all he had time to say, as the woman in front of him moved on with her speech.

"I didn't work all my life for some token position. I want a transfer and I don't want to be patronized." Things began to fall into place in Jack's mind. Personnel had been in this office for years, and the move hadn't been noted on the directories yet.

"Good speech. A bit on the defensive side, but luckily you'll have a chance to rework it before you have to use it again." Standing as he spoke, he looked up to find the woman in front of him looking completely confused. He quickly explained to her that personnel was now on the fifth floor. He tried to keep the smile from creeping onto his face when she suddenly looked at his name badge. Her embarrassment was evident as she asked if he was an agent, and then apologized when he nodded in the affirmative. As she walked towards the door, he noticed a dog walking beside her. His curiosity was peaked as he sat back in his seat.

Suddenly all thoughts of Rhonda and the conversation from the night before were erased from his mind. Opening the file in front of him, he again tried to focus on his work, only this time, his mind kept wondering back to the blond who had interrupted his thoughts. Why did she have a dog who was allowed to walk around with her in an FBI building? What did she do here that made her feel like she was being patronized? Why was he still thinking about the way her eyes lit up as she spoke? What was it about her that made him want to seek her out and learn more about why she was here? Why did he suddenly feel like something he had been missing was suddenly waiting for him to reach out and touch it? What was it about her that made him suddenly want feel something again?

Making his way to the cafeteria for lunch, he prayed that he would find her. The need to see her again was overwhelming. Somehow he knew this was no ordinary girl, and he needed to find out why. Spotting her, he walked towards her table, unaware of the fact that today was the beginning of a friendship that would transform his life.


	4. Chapter 4

"Six weeks?" Sue's voice was a mixture of surprise and sadness.

"Yes, six weeks. I will be traveling a lot. Going to a lot of meetings, training others, and doing some training myself." Jack's mind was racing, even as his heart felt like it was breaking into a million pieces.

"When do you leave?"

"Monday."

Sue tried to keep her voice from shaking though a lump formed in the back of her throat. "Well, it is a good opportunity for you. I am glad you were chosen." Even as she said it, she knew she was not glad he was chosen. Not that she did not want him to do well, or advance in the FBI, but she knew where advancing might lead. Panic nearly took over, as her brain tried to fathom the next few weeks without him.

"I was thinking that maybe tomorrow we could go out for supper. I figure it will be awhile before we get to do anything again." He was glad she couldn't hear his voice, because at the moment he was having a hard time keeping it steady. It was crazy really. Sue was his friend. Nothing more. Sure they had been best friends for five years, and yes, he would be the first to admit that she was very attractive--beautiful even. There had been moments when he felt so drawn to her that it was difficult not to wrap her in his arms. Moments it was hard to keep from showering her with kisses, but he was sure that all these feelings came from spending so much time with her. A result of the closeness of their relationship. For five years he had been assuring himself and his friends that there was nothing romantic between him and the woman who stood in front of him now. If only he could stop his heart from breaking at the thought of leaving her for six weeks; maybe then he would be able to believe it.

"Sounds good. If you're paying." Even as she made their familiar joke, she could not force herself to smile. It dawned on her that in the past five years, she and Jack had never gone more than just a couple of days without seeing each other. She knew it was a strange relationship, but it was their relationship; a part of her life she never wanted to lose.

A small smile showed on his face, though it did not reach his eyes. "I'm paying, and we are going some place nice. No pizza tomorrow!"

"Can't pass up a deal like that." They were now standing at her door after he had walked her home. Standing face to face they suddenly lapsed into silence, both looking into each others eyes. It was a moment that had repeated itself over and over since they met. Each of them mentally preparing themselves to leave the other one, but neither wanting to be the first to break away.

Finally Sue broke the silence, "It's getting late." It was hard to tell how many times she had stood in this exact spot and said those exact words. "See you tomorrow."

"Why don't I pick you up before evening service tomorrow. We can go to church and then to eat." The ache in his heart when he considered saying goodbye to her rivaled the night he had his heart attack.

"See you then. Night."

"Goodnight." Watching her turn away, he wondered how he had been so fortunate to find a friend like Sue. If things were different, he would be the first in line to date her. But things were the way they were. Each time he entertained thoughts like that, he would remind himself of what he had done. A deed he considered to be too terrible to seek forgiveness from Sue. Walking away from her door, he allowed a lone tear to make a path down his cheek, as he reminded himself that Sue was not for him.


	5. Chapter 5

_Thanks to those who have made comments. I appreciate them, as well as those who have put this one your favorite stories lists. It means a lot. I hope you continue to enjoy the story. _

Sue looked around her lonely apartment. Lucy had recently gotten married to a man she had met at deaf club, leaving Sue an apartment that seemed all too empty without her friend. Plopping herself on the couch, she allowed the sadness in her heart to overtake her. Tears flowed freely from her eyes, as she tried tell herself it was only six weeks. Deep inside, she knew it was more than the time away. It was the waiting that had her heart breaking.

It had been almost two years now since she had decided to wait. After she had been offered the job in New York. Closing her eyes, she remembered those days.

The minute William Hackford explained why he was there, Sue had felt a mixture of emotions, ranging from excitement to dread. In all honesty, she was not exactly sure why she had been offered the job with her relatively brief time with the bureau. She was excited and honored to be considered, yet the thought of moving weighed heavily upon her heart. Promising to consider the offer, she had gone to lunch with the team, but she had stayed distracted.

After work, she had been relieved when Lucy had pushed her to talk. Fact was, she was dying to talk about it. It had been hard to keep it from Jack, but Mr. Hackford had specifically asked her to keep it quiet. Coming in to the bull pen in the morning, she had been greeted by the fact that word traveled faster than she had ever expected. Immediately upon Myles reference to her transferring, she had caught Jack's expression. Looking toward Lucy in question, she had given away that she had spoken to her friend about the job. Something had snapped in her when she saw Jack's face. The hurt that fluttered over his features when he realized she had not confided in him had cut her to the core.

Then he had almost gotten shot, and she had suddenly realized that there would never be another man for her. Unsure of what to do with this new found knowledge, she had decided to leave, thinking that maybe it would give them a chance for something more. Maybe he would make a move if she were going away. Later, she had met Deanne at the church, and her mind had cleared some. Her reasons for leaving were wrong. What she was leaving behind was too precious.

After leaving the church that night, she had gone home and immersed herself in prayer. It had been a night she would not soon forget. She had made up her mind to stay, realizing that the friends who had welcomed her into their world, were not to be treated lightly. Memories were still all too vivid of the many people whose world she never seemed to fit into.

That night, she had poured her heart out to God, asking Him for wisdom and guidance, not only in her job situation, but also in the thing that mattered most to her heart. Jack. The Lord had led her to a couple of scriptures, which she had underlined in her Bible.

The first was found in Psalms 37 verses 4 and 5, and gave her great hope. It simply stated, "Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass." She had decided that day to delight in her relationship with her Savior, trusting that God would either allow her desires to be fulfilled as they were, or change her desires.

The second verse God brought to her mind gave her reason to believe that He might not do it in her time. It was found in Isaiah 40:31. "But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk, and not faint." It was a verse she knew well, and she always thought she was good at waiting on Him, but in truthfulness, she fought hard to be able to wait for Jack.

In the two years since, she had never been on a date with another guy, though she had been asked out by several men. It seemed to her to be unfair to them to go out, knowing that she would never be able to give her heart to anyone except Jack. It was not a great sacrifice, since she and Jack spent nearly every waking moment in each others company. She knew he had not had dated in that time either, and she was not sure if that made her feel better or worse. To be sure, it would have hurt her immensely if he had dated, but knowing that there was no reason for his hesitation with her almost made it worse.

Sighing, she made her way to the bedroom. Kneeling beside her bed, she prayed for the same thing she had prayed for the past two years. That somehow, God would give her the ability to walk without fainting. Pulling on a tattered hockey jersey, she crawled into bed. His face floated in her minds eye as she drifted to sleep. As she slept, she dreamt of the day when she could finally wrap her arms around him and tell him how she loved him.


	6. Chapter 6

Sitting beside Sue on her couch, Jack wondered how many nights he had in the last two years that ended in a similar fashion. They had gone to church together, then gone out to eat, and then back to her house where they were watching a movie, which Jack would not be able to remember anything about when he left. He had been busy trying not to think about telling Sue goodbye.

Sue was oblivious to what was happening on the screen in front of her, as all her mind could picture was six weeks without this. Forty-two days without the man she loved. When she looked towards Jack, she realized he wasn't paying attention to the movie either. Picking up the remote, she clicked the TV off, and turned towards him. "Wanna take Levi for a walk?"

Jack smiled at her, realizing they were both wrestling with the same feelings, and nodded his head. Levi jumped up at the mention of his name, and Sue retrieved his leash and her coat. Jack followed, grabbing his jacket from the coat rack by the door. Moving beside her, he let his hand rest on the small of her back, as he did so often, and guided her towards the park across the street.

They stayed quiet as they walked, and when they were a safe distance from the road, Sue unleashed Levi. Together they stood, watching the dog frolic, each wishing they could express to the other what they were feeling in that moment, but neither willing to break the code of silence that had been erected throughout their years together.

Looking at the woman who stood beside him, Jack watched as a tear fell down her cheek. She had been standing quietly, watching Levi, and he was not sure she saw him studying her now. Her hand quickly went up to brush it off, even as her eyes met his. For a brief second, Jack watched as she allowed all her feelings to show on her face, and he realized exactly what he was leaving. Without thinking, he moved his hand to her cheek, letting his fingers brush hers as she wiped the stray tear. Currents of electricity moved through his body, and he was shocked at the intensity of one touch. She allowed her hand to fall, but he kept his hand on her cheek, lightly caressing the soft skin there.

In that moment, Sue was sure he was going to kiss her. Even if she had not been skilled at reading body language, which she was, she would have been able to read this. He inched slightly towards her, and she could feel his breath on her face. However, despite his body language, his face wore a pained expression. Those deep brown eyes told her of desperation. As if, no matter how much he wanted to, he could not allow himself to move past this point. Her heart begged her to move in, let her lips touch his, but her heart was tempered by a deep conviction that she was to wait for him.

As suddenly as it had started, Jack put an end to it. The desire he felt for her could only lead to heartbreak for both of them. Moving himself back, he mentally kicked himself when he saw the look of hurt that shadowed her features. A look that told him more than anything of how deep her feelings were for him. A look that reminded him yet again of all the reasons he could never be what Sue needed.

She watched him move away, still feeling his touch on her cheek, even though his hands were now in his pocket. Hot tears stung her eyes, but she forced herself to swallow her disappointment. Calling Levi, she moved back towards the apartment, expecting that Jack would follow. The feelings he evoked were still too close to the surface to speak.

As they moved towards the building that housed Sue's apartment, he wondered how he could make things right before he left. Hurting her was the last thing he had wanted to do, but he knew he had. He had done it before, and he knew she would pretend it never happened, but he also knew he would carry the pain he had caused her for a long time to come.

Coming up on the door to her building, she turned towards him. "If you want to come up, you are welcome, but I know you probably need to finish packing." She was smiling, but he was sure it was a pasted smile. His heart broke, and he searched his brain for a way to fix what he had done.

"Sue." His body moved slightly forward as he spoke her name. To his immediate discomfort, she stepped backwards, as if trying to get away from him.

Her back was against the brick wall now, ending any retreat. She wanted to fling herself in his arms and be lost in his embrace for an eternity. However, she had let her guard down a few minutes ago, and it had hurt too bad to do it again.

"Sue, I need you to know that I am going to miss you more than you know." The words weren't even close to what he needed to say. However, she seemed to calm some. Holding out his hand, he was relieved when she placed her own hand into his. "You are my best friend, Sue. You started as the girl I was training, then you quickly became my friend and partner, and now, you are so much more than that. Leaving you for six weeks is the hardest thing I have ever done."

The tears streaming down his handsome face told her much more than his words. She had seen him hold back tears a few times before, but this time he made no effort to hold them at bay. Unashamedly, he let them flow down his cheeks, and it spoke to her soul, healing all the hurt from moments before. "Jack." It was all she could get out before her voice quit working. Immediately he swallowed her up in a hug, as they both let the tears out. Neither caring who came by and saw the display, they stayed that way for quite awhile.

Finally, Jack moved back, looking deep into the hazel eyes before him, he tried to memorize the way she looked right then. Tucking the image into his heart to recall when they were apart. "I'll call you tomorrow when I get to my room. It shouldn't be too late. You can catch me up on all the latest gossip in the bullpen while I am gone."

Sue smiled into his eyes, feeling for the first time all night like a little of the tension had eased, and things would be all right eventually. "You be careful. And make sure to get Levi a doggie biscuit from all the places you visit. If you don't he will be highly offendeed." She was trying to think of anything to say to him now, just to keep him at her doorstep for a few minutes longer.

Realizing he couldn't stand here much longer without pulling her into his embrace and kissing her, he said the words he didn't want to say. "I better be going. Thanks for the evening. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Goodbye Jack." Before he had an opportunity to move, she placed a kiss on his cheek, then turned and walked into the building. Letting his hand move to his face where her lips had just left, he knew he would cherish that kiss not only for the next six weeks, but for his entire life.


	7. Chapter 7

Moving through the airport, Jack wondered how much longer he could keep this up. He was enjoying the work, and even the pace, but he missed being on the front lines, solving the tough cases, and making the arrests. For the last two and a half weeks, he had been traveling to FBI offices, working with other team leaders and their teams. It had been a learning experience, as well as a good opportunity to find some of his own strengths and pass them on.

His mind moved to what he figured must be happening in his own bull pen. By now, Tara would have the place wondering about the origins of some strange figure of speech. Bobby would be stopping into the bull pen to see Tara. He no longer worked on the same team, but he was in the bull pen as much as possible to see Tara. She was, after all, the reason for his transfer. The diamond he had given her for Christmas had been cause for much excitement in the office.

It was not hard to imagine Myles getting on Steve's last nerve. Steve was the newest agent in the pen, taking up the slack for the missing Bobby, as well as D, who was supervisor now; a job that did not allow him to be in the field anymore. Steve reminded Jack of D in a lot of ways. He was much quieter than Bobby ever was, but when he opened his mouth everyone knew what he said would be worth listening to. His ability to reason through a case was amazing, and everyone was grateful to have him around. However, Myles seemed to get on his nerves worse than anyone in the office. From the moment the Harvard grad opened his mouth, Steve would wear a pained expression as if listening hurt. Even though Myles had tamed through the years, everyone could still feel annoyed at the man, but Jack was sure eventually Steve would come to appreciate Myles just as everyone else had.

Thinking of the office, one face stood out above the rest. The one that had come to mean more to him than anyone in his life. The separation had caused him to realize that his feelings for her were more than mere friendship and attraction. After two weeks of talking on the phone each night, and texting off and on throughout the day, he realized that the woman he sat across from in the office was the woman he loved. The love he had felt for Kristin years before seemed to have been only a crush in comparison. Yet, the realization did not change things. Guilt pressed him at every side, and he knew there was no way he could ask Sue to be more than his friend and his partner.

Having gone through security fairly quickly, Jack made his way through the LaGuardia airport towards a small café where he hoped to grab a coffee before take off. It was a few minutes after 2:00 pm, and his plane was scheduled for take off in about an hour. After grabbing his coffee, he found a chair and pulled out his blackberry, laughing to himself when he felt the vibrations letting him know he had just received a text. Opening the message, he smiled again that it was Sue, just as he expected. She wrote him often, and he loved that she tried to keep him apprised of all that was happening in her life, and in the bull pen. This one was just a note to tell him she hoped he was having a good day, and that Levi was missing him.

Settling back in his chair, he moved his fingers over the tiny keyboard. "At the airport now, waiting for my plane. Will be in Charlotte, NC tonight. Call you when I get in my room. Tell Levi I miss him too, and I got a surprise for him in New York. By the way, I miss you too! Talk to you tonight."

He sat for a few more minutes, enjoying his coffee, and reading the sports page, until he finally heard his boarding call. Heading towards his gate, he looked out on the runway. When he sat and thought about it, he was amazed that these big hunks of metal could get off the ground, much less take him around the world. It was rare he worried about crashing, as he had been flying for many years, but today there seemed to be a niggling in the back of his brain. He was slightly disturbed by the thought, but tried not to let it get to him.

Settling back in his seat, he looked around. The FBI had been able to get him first class seats on this particular flight, and he looked forward to resting in the more comfortable chairs. Silently he took note of the other passengers, as he always did, then readied himself for the trip, still trying to keep that strange uneasiness from surfacing.

The take off was beautiful, and as always, Jack stared out the window, watching the world become smaller and smaller. His mind returned to Sue, and he closed his eyes, picturing her sitting at her desk trying to figure out some detail on the current case.

A loud noise brought him out of his reverie, and he immediately realized something was wrong. They had been in the air no longer than 3 or 4 minutes, and when he looked out the window, what he saw made his heart nearly stop. Birds. Big birds. The kind of birds that cause planes to go down.

Immediately, his mind shifted into FBI mode. What were the steps he needed to take to keep those around him safe. Looking around, he saw that everyone still had their seat belts on, and there wasn't much he could do that would not induce panic.

Not much he could do on the plane, but one thing he had to do if these were his last minutes on the earth. He had to let her know. Pulling out his blackberry, he hit the power button, waiting impatiently as it seemed to take too long to come to life. Finally, he dialed the number of the one person he never wanted to say good bye to, but had to tell how he felt. She answered on the first ring.

"Jack?"

A voice came over the intercom telling them to brace for impact. He knew he had little time.

"Sue, my plane is going down. If I don't make it out, I needed you to know I love you."

"Jack!" He heard the panic in her voice, and wished he knew a better way to do this.

"I'm sorry I couldn't tell you before. I gotta go Sue."

"Jack, I love you too." He heard her voice before he hit the button to bring the conversation to an end, and thanked the Lord he had the opportunity to make this one last call. Turning to the woman beside him, he saw the panic in her eyes. With a calm he never expected, he held her hand and began to pray.


	8. Chapter 8

_You know the saying "Truth is stranger than fiction"....well, when I was writing this, I decided to use a little truth, because I could never have come up with this scenario myself. _

_Thanks so much for the replies, and for reading! Hope you continue to enjoy_

The bull pen was deathly quiet. From the moment Sue's panicked voice had spoken Jack's name, those around had stopped what they were doing, watching her in silence. If things had been different, she would have blushed furiously when she raised her head and saw all eyes on her, especially after just telling Jack she loved him, but now, she could not think about embarrassment. She needed to know if he was alive.

"Tara, get us a news feed in here." Her voice was barely above a whisper. No tears filled her eyes. Instead, she was numb as she looked towards the screen. It took only a few minutes before she saw the news flash come on the screen. "That's Jack's plane." She knew they all wanted an explanation.

Bobby had just stopped by the bull pen to see Tara as the news flipped to the most amazing story he had ever seen. He heard Sue's voice saying that Jack was on the plane. The commentator seemed as stunned as Bobby felt.

"We have breaking news from New York. It appears that a U.S. Airways plane has made an emergency landing in the Hudson River. No word yet on survivors."

Silence prevailed in the room. No one daring to speak. Most having a hard time even breathing. Jack was a dear friend to each person in the room, and none of them could imagine their lives without his presence.

The news gave little information. Basically it was the same information in different forms over and over. Tara checked every available news feed, hoping for something new to report, finally finding one small internet source with some live feeds of the plane. Amazingly, it was sitting on the water, and people were exiting onto boats. The video was too far away to find any specific face, but it gave them hope.

It seemed like ages past before the commentator came on and announced that it appeared everyone had made it off the plane alive. Sue felt a hand on her arm, and turned to find D standing behind her. "Go. Jack needs you right now. " She had no idea how he had read her mind, but she didn't hesitate.

"Lucy, you mind giving me a lift to the airport?" Lucy nodded her assent, as she gathered her things.

Bobby's hand waved in the air, gaining Sue's attention. "Tell him we're here for him. And you be careful. You both are family." He gave her a brief hug, and Sue noticed the nods from the others in the room. Fighting tears, she walked out of the bull pen, praying she could find Jack when she got to New York.


	9. Chapter 9

The dry clothes, blanket, and warm liquids were quickly helping Jack feel more human. He had waded in the waist deep water long enough to get a slight case of hypothermia, and his hand was throbbing from being hit by falling objects when he tried to protect the woman who sat beside him from being hit in the head. He felt sure he would need to have it checked out, but for now he just wanted to make sure everyone was alright.

Thinking back over the events of the last few hours, he was still amazed that he was standing here--alive. The landing on the Hudson River had been amazingly smooth. Those on the plane were much calmer than he had expected, and they moved in an orderly manner, allowing for everyone to get out safely. Jack had helped the pilot comb the plane before they had both boarded a boat that took them back to dry land. Now he stood in the midst of a group of thankful people. Some were already being reunited with family, others were on the phone, but without exception, all were speaking words or amazement and gratitude for still being alive.

So far Jack had not been able to get to a phone. His own blackberry was swimming somewhere in the frigid Hudson River. He wished he could let Sue know he was ok, but he kept getting called away, and phones were scarce as everyone wanted to call their families. Sitting down on a deserted bench, he decided to wait a little while, then go in search of a phone again, feeling sure that the news would be broadcasting that all those on board were safe.

As soon as he hit the chair, he realized that he was exhausted. The adrenaline rush was over, leaving in its place a weariness one can only know after a traumatic experience. Shutting his eyes for a moment, he tried to block out the noise in the room. His mind immediately going back to those last few moments before the plane went down. He had told her he loved her. Now, as he was still alive, he wondered what he was going to do about that. It was true, but the realization that she knew scared him beyond words. How would he tell her now that he wasn't the one for her? Somewhere in his heart, he had known even before she had said it, that she loved him too.

Lifting his head, he almost thought he was hallucinating. There, coming towards him was the woman he was just thinking about. The events of the day washed freshly over Jack, causing him to realize he had almost lost this chance to see her again. She spotted him as he stood up, and for the first time in years, Jack forgot all the reasons he couldn't be with her. As they both paused, looking at each other from across the room, their hearts took over, leaving their minds to catch up later.

Jack felt his feet move towards her even as he saw her moving slowly towards him. His heart thudded hard in his chest, as he looked at her as if for the first time. The world faded around them, and they moved closer to each other. As they closed the large gap between them, they both picked up the pace, both feeling like they would never reach the other. When she was mere inches away, Jack pulled her in his arms, and without hesitation, claimed her lips with his own.

The sweet taste of his mouth on her own, nearly made her knees buckle. Her hands were on his chest, and she could feel the beating of his heart was hard and fast, matching her own. His lips moved over hers with a tender intensity, showing her of both his desire and his love. As her mind replayed the events of the day, the need to make sure he was real overwhelmed her. Her arms moved around his neck, and she deepened the kiss. In response, he pulled her closer with the one hand he had wrapped around her waist.

"Don't ever do that to me again!" Jack was surprised that these were the first words Sue uttered when they broke apart. Seeing his confused demeanor, she rushed to explain her thoughts. "I mean---not the kiss---what I mean is, don't ever call me and tell me your plane is crashing again!'

A slight smile spread across his face. "I'm sorry I scared you. I just couldn't go without telling you."

"I would prefer you tell me in person." Insecurity showed on her face, and Jack wondered if she thought he had just said the words before because he was dying. Even though his brain was now starting to engage, and he was beginning to again realize that he could never really be what she needed, looking into her eyes now, he could not hurt her. He had to tell her what she obviously longed to see, and what he longed to say.

"Sue, I love you. I will always love you."

"I love you too, Jack." With those words, Jack felt his heart break. Pulling her head towards him, he allowed himself one more moment of intense joy, even as he realized that the sins of his past were too great for this to last.

******

In Washington, D.C., a team of FBI agents were gathered around a televisions set, watching a camera pan the crowd. The reporter was explaining how to contact the airlines if you believed your family member might have been on the plane. Suddenly, a squeal from a tall, dark woman brought everyone's attention to a couple standing in the middle of the screen. The couple was caught up in their own reunion, and their faces were not visible to the camera. However, the golden retriever standing politely by his owner told the story to all those watching. The couple was obviously unaware that their kiss was being broadcast around the world.


	10. Chapter 10

Two years of waiting, knowing he was the one, and now, standing in the middle of an airport, Sue was on cloud nine. Never had three words meant more to her. Yet, looking in his eyes, she saw a storm brewing. It was as if he were struggling with something he was not sharing with her. There was no doubt that when those eyes looked at her, love flowed from them, but it was contrasted by a deep sadness.

Putting her hand on his arm, she noticed him wince. Looking down, she saw the reason for his reaction. "Jack, your wrist looks awful. You need to get that checked out."

"I was thinking that too. I told them it was fine when I got off, but since then it seems to be getting worse." Looking at his arm now, it was already black and blue and rather swollen.

"Let's get you to the hospital and get it checked out." Jack nearly laughed at the motherly tone Sue's voice now held. "Do they have a place for you to stay tonight? How long has it been since you've eaten? Will you be going home after tonight or will you be back out on assignment?" She peppered him with questions as they walked towards the cab that had been called for them, barely giving him a chance to answer one before asking another.

Finally, Jack put his good hand in her own, and squeezed. "I'm ok Sue. I am here, and I am ok." Sue blushed, but smiled up at him.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to talk so much. I guess I sounded like Tara just then."

"Actually, a lot like my mom." A teasing glint in his eyes kept her from being offended.

"Well, Sparky, someone has to look out for you."

"I am sure Mom would approve. She likes my women to be as overprotective as she is." Even as he said that, he wished he could take it back. He wanted her to be "his woman" but she couldn't be. In his heart, it seemed he was leading her on, and yet, he didn't have the heart to tell her that it couldn't work.

Smiling at him, she spoke before thinking, "Your women? You have a lot of them?" She watched as his expression changed somewhat, and she wondered if she had hurt his feelings.

Before she had time to amend her statement he spoke. "I promise you this one thing Sue. No matter what happens tomorrow, or next week--no matter what I say or do--you are the only woman in my life. That will never change"

The cab stopped at the hospital and the conversation was put on hold for the time being. It took several hours to get Jack x-rayed and a cast put on. The doctors found that he had broken his wrist, and two fingers. Seeing as how he had been in an airplane crash, he felt fortunate with just a few minor broken bones.

Heading to the hotel, they decided to order some room service when they arrived rather than try to find a place that might still be open. The airport had offered accommodations for those who needed it, but Jack had decided to go back to the hotel he had stayed in the night before. It was further from the airport, and he felt like the news media would be less apt to be hanging around.

After checking in, Sue went to her room long enough to freshen up slightly. They had been given adjoining rooms, so when she was done she knocked lightly on the door that connected the two. Jack opened the door almost immediately, welcoming her to his 'humble abode'.

She had only been in for a few minutes when the food came, and they both quickly realized how hungry they were. Little was said until all the food on both plates was devoured. Jack smiled up from his empty plate. "Guess I was hungry!"

"Me too." Smiling she glanced at her plate, surprised she had eaten the whole entrée.

Together they cleaned up, and then Jack put the cart in the hallway. As he stepped back in, Sue glanced around the room, and suddenly felt nervous. Looking up, she found his eyes on her. Something in those brown depths caused her heart to tremble.

Moving towards her, he knew he had to tell her that they could never be. But first, he needed to show her that no matter what, he loved her. Taking her hand, he led her to the bed. He sat across from her on a chair, and looked into her eyes.

"I want you to know that I am glad my plane went down today. If it hadn't, I would not have told you that I love you. I also need you to know that I didn't tell you that only because I thought I was dying. I mean, that is what caused me to say it, but I have wanted to tell you for some time."

Sue could see the somber expression, and the cloud of something she could not identify in his eyes. That look frightened her. "Jack, you nearly made my heart stop when you called, but I love you, and seeing those words is the best gift anyone has ever given me."

Looking on this beautiful woman sitting in front of him, Jack knew he needed to say more, but before he moved on, he allowed himself to yield to temptation once more. Taking a chance, he moved to sit beside her on the bed. Allowing himself to be entranced by her eyes, he moved closer to her, cupping her face with his hand. Moving slowly, he watched her as his face inched closer to hers, taking in every detail, knowing this would probably be the last kiss they ever shared. He forced himself to keep his eyes opened, even as he saw hers slip shut. When his lips finally touched hers, he allowed himself the sheer bliss of kissing her like he had dreamt of for years.

Sue had never been kissed like this before. The passion that sparked to life was something that she had never felt before. Her arms moved around his neck, and she allowed her hands to play in his hair. The feel of his good hand encircling her waist, pulling her closer to him, made her feel like she was in heaven.

Her reaction to him was almost more than he could stand. There was no other woman in his life--ever--that had been so right. Sitting here, with their arms wrapped around each other, kissing each other like there was no tomorrow, he knew letting her go, though he had to do it, would leave him empty. His arms would ache to hold her again. His lips would crave her touch. But never again could he allow himself this pleasure. Pulling himself away, he steeled himself for what he had to do.

"Jack, please tell me what is wrong." The voice was still hoarse from passion, but he could hear the desperation it held.

"Sue, there are things about me that I have not ever told anyone. Things I am ashamed of. Secrets that I am afraid to let even you know." His eyes filled with tears, but he went on. "If you knew me, you would not love me, Sue."

"I do know you, Jack. I know the man that you are. I know the passion with which you live your life. I know what you care about. You are a man of integrity."

"No. I am not. The things I have done--"

Wishing she could get into his head, she instead tried to talk to his heart. "This is what I know you have done. You took a girl, who fit into no ones world, and you made a world for her. Often, I am not accepted by hearing people because I am deaf. Sometimes, I am not accepted into the Deaf world because they think I am trying to be hearing. The only world I have ever felt comfortable in is your world. Have you noticed how we both move from voice to sign and back without hesitation. You have made me laugh, saved my life, supported me when I was hurting." Pausing slightly, she wiped the tears from Jack's face. "That is just what you have done for me. I could bring a hundred people in here that would have a list of things you have done for them. Even today, you preferred others lives over your own. You stayed on that plane, making sure that everyone else was safe. That is the man I love. The man I know. That is you, Jack."

"But you don't know what I did."

"I don't have to. I know you. We have all made mistakes. I will listen if you need to tell me, but it won't change how I feel about you. It won't change what I know about you."

"I can't tell you yet. I need time."

"I'm not going anywhere. There is no one else for me Hudson, so you're just going to have to get used to it." A smile played on her lips, and she was grateful to see a small smile from him.

"I can't do this--" He moved his hand between the two of them, letting her know that he was speaking of the kisses they had shared. "I mean, I want to, but I can't. Not until I can tell you the truth. I don't know when that will be. You shouldn't wait for me."

Sue laughed nearly out loud, and the look on Jack's face was of surprise, but not of humor. "I'm sorry, Jack. It is just that I have been waiting for you for two years. Since I decided not to go to New York, I have not had one date, because I was waiting for you. I would wait for the rest of my life, if that is what it took."

"I don't understand you sometimes, Sue Thomas. But I do love you."

"You need to get some sleep. I better get back to my room."

"Yeah, I am a little tired." He smiled at her, and wondered if she really could love him unconditionally/

"Goodnight, Jack. I love you." She reached up and put a kiss on his cheek, then disappeared into the other room.

Before settling down for the night, Sue switched on the TV. News of the plane wreck was being broadcast on every major channel, and she stopped on the first she came to. Suddenly her mouth dropped open as she watched a couple reuniting with a passionate kiss. She silently prayed that no one she knew had seen this footage, even as she knew that they probably had.


	11. Chapter 11

The total exhaustion that had overwhelmed Jack only hours before, was now completely swept away knowing that Sue was in the next room. His heart ached already from missing her. Never had he loved anyone the way he loved Sue. No other person had ever made him feel complete like she did. More than that, when he thought of Sue, it was more than just his own feelings that came to surface. The very core of his being needed to do what was best for her. Nothing made him happier than seeing her happy. It was almost as if his very soul was connected to hers. Smiling to himself he wondered if that was truly what it was. He had never put much stock in the belief that everyone had a soul mate, but now he was not so sure.

Closing his eyes he allowed his mind to drift back in time. Images of the moments he had spent with Sue filled his head, and he let himself get lost in the love he felt for this woman. If circumstances had been different, he would have asked her out a long time ago--or so he told himself. Part of him believed that; the other part knew there would have always been a part of him that was too terrified of losing her to risk it.

His mind's eye returned to the day he had almost let it slip. When she had come around the corner, asking him to go with her on a date with Randy and his new girlfriend. The idea of going anywhere with Randy made his stomach turn, but the thought of going anywhere with Sue--especially socially--made the thoughts of Randy almost bearable. After giving her a good teasing about asking him out, he had made sure to seem half-hearted about the whole idea. However, the moment she said, "We'll have fun--I mean Randy will have fun and we'll go along." The look on her face when she looked at him--his heart skipped a beat, and he forgot it was a social outing only for the benefit of Randy. His mind suddenly allowing him to pretend that this was a date. That Sue had invited him to go, not because of Randy, but because she wanted to spend the time with him. It was this feeling that caused him to nearly slip up later.

It had happened when he asked her what time to pick her up. She had been gracious, and assured him that she could meet him at the restaurant. Wanting a little more time with her, outside the office, he insisted. Honestly, he had not had to beg. She had seemed happy to allow him to pick her up. Maybe it was because he had told her that he went right by her house. It was logical. However, he allowed himself to believe it was because she wanted those few minutes alone with him, as much as he wanted them. Her next words had been simple really, "It's nice of you to do this for Randy." But in that moment, he couldn't let her believe that Randy had anything to do with his reasoning. He needed her to know.

"I'm not doing it for Randy." Those few words made her face take on a look he was unsure of. Slight confusion, and maybe hope. He had smirked and walked away, without even finding out when to pick her up.

The date had gone well, except for being uncomfortable with Randy's obvious lies to the woman he was with. There seemed to be something in Sue's manner all night that made Jack wish he could ask her out again. He had been out with several woman, and more had been obviously taken with him. It was never difficult to see if a woman was interested in going out again. That vibe that girls gave him, it was similar to what he felt from Sue, only this was less in what she said and did as it was in her eyes.

Sitting on his bed in a hotel room in New York, he could still see the moment he had dropped her off. They had walked Levi, and come back to her apartment, both laughing at Randy's obvious deceit, when suddenly she stopped. "Jack, thanks for coming. I had a great time." When his eyes had met hers, it was as if she was begging him to open up to her.

"Sue, I--" His voice had stopped right there. Standing right in front of the woman who had his heart, his head moved back in time. Distant memories played in his mind, taunting him. Reminding him that he was not worthy of this woman. Fighting back the tears that some of the memories nearly brought to surface, he said the only thing he could think of. "I had a good time too. Thanks for inviting me." The disappointed look that covered her features haunted him for weeks to come.

Laying his head in his hands, he wondered if he could tell her the truth. How would she handle knowing the mistakes he had made? Would she truly be able to forgive him when he couldn't even forgive himself? Tears slid down his cheeks as he remembered the events that changed his life. From that first moment of weakness to the decision that forever scarred him. Each memory forever burned into his brain, reminding him for all time all the promises he had broken, and the cost to those around him.


	12. Chapter 12

The early April day was proving to be one of the nicest they had seen so far in the year. The weather was beautiful and warm, allowing Levi plenty of time at the park to frolic without Sue nearly freezing to death. She loved days like this. Spring was always her favorite season, and this spring was no exception. The feeling of being alive seemed to burst from her today.

As she had for over two months, she allowed her mind to go back to those few fleeting moments in New York. Each memory leaving a slight flush on her cheeks. She could still feel the soft touch of his lips on hers. Still see the look in his eyes the moment he had caught sight of her in the airport. Her body ached for the feel of his arms embracing her, but she would wait.

In the weeks that had passed, things were not much different than they had been for the last several years. Whatever Jack felt was too horrible to forgive in his past had kept him from pursuing a relationship with her even still, but the knowledge that he loved her had given her the strength to endure. Just as before they would meet for dinners and lunches, and go to the movies on occasion. At times she would feel the warmth of his hand cover hers, or his arm finding a place around her shoulders. She cherished those moments, and waited with anticipation for the day when he would relieve himself of his heavy burden, and allow them to move on together.

Maybe tonight would be a first step. Bobby and Tara's wedding rehearsal and dinner. Watching as their friends got ready to share their lives together, she knew it made Jack think. She had seen his eyes on her many times during the moments when wedding talk had filled the office.

Surprisingly little had been said to her and Jack about their relationship since they had come back from New York, and somehow she felt that the team realized that something had changed. Sue was expecting a few remarks as the wedding arrangements were made. However, it seemed everyone noticed the pensive glances Jack turned on Sue, and had chosen to keep their teasing at bay, for which Sue was grateful.

Turning her mind to the present, she looked around the church parking lot noting Jack's car was already there, and she felt the familiar stirring. The thought of seeing him never failed to make her heart skip a beat, even after five years.

Heading towards the doors, she thought about the first time she had come to this church. It had been over two years ago now. Inside she had met Deanne, and had been reminded of all the reasons she had to stay here in D.C. Smiling, she realized she would always be indebted to the dear woman for her insight. Two of the reasons she had stayed would be joined together in the sight of God tomorrow, and she was thankful that she was here to take an active part in the joyous moment.

Taking one last deep breath of the warm spring air, she opened the door and walked in, followed closely by her constant companion and the ring bearer in the wedding, Levi. She had laughed at how the dog seemed to understand what an honor was bestowed on him when they asked about him being the ring bearer. Lucy used to say that Levi wasn't a dog, and Sue was beginning to think Levi believed that.

Standing in the back of the sanctuary Jack stood transfixed as he watched Sue's every movement, amazed yet again at her beauty. He had spent the better part of two months praying about how to tell her, begging God to allow her to forgive him. Earlier in the week he had decided to tell her after the wedding. His best friend was making a step that, frankly, Jack never expected him to make, and somehow watching Bobby get married had made his own desire towards a future with Sue double. He could only hope and pray she would love him after she knew the truth.

Feeling his gaze on her, she turned, finding his eyes with her own. The smile on her face nearly melted his heart as he moved towards her. "We the first ones here?" She questioned.

"Yes. I came early just to think and pray a little." Jack was standing directly in front of her now, giving her cause to need to take an extra breath just to feel she had enough oxygen to speak.

"I was out walking with Levi, and we decided to just walk on over here." He watched her as she talked, marveling at the fact that a woman could still affect him like Sue did even after five years of knowing her. "Actually, Levi was very excited about being the ring bearer, and insisted on coming now."

Looking towards Levi, Jack laughed with Sue as he rubbed the dog's head. "Thanks Knuckle Head. You must have know how much I wanted to have a few minutes alone with just you and Sue."

Sue smiled at the thought. Regardless of the fact that he had not furthered their relationship, he had made a point of showing her that he loved her in small ways. At Valentine's Day, he had sent her a bouquet of roses to her apartment with a card assuring her once again that he loved her, and nothing would ever change that. Every night when he left her, he made a point to make the "ILY" sign. In Deaf culture, it is not uncommon for friends to use this "I love you" sign when they said goodbye, but the look in Jack's eyes always told her that it was more than just a salutation. And now, as he slid his arm around her waist, moving her towards the side door which led to a courtyard with outside benches, Sue cherished the feeling of being loved by this man. Though they were not dating, he had left her no doubt that the words he spoke to her as his plane was going down were as true today as they were that day.

Seating himself beside her on the bench, he turned his body to make sure his words would be clearly seen. "Sue, I was wondering if you would like to have dinner with me tomorrow evening." He could see by the look on her face he had surprised her by asking her out the minute they got sat down, but he wanted to make his plans with her before he lost the nerve.

"Are you asking me on a date?" Her smile showed she was teasing him, but he felt there was also a real question behind her joke.

"Actually, I would like it to be. I would like to talk to you." The look on his face told Sue exactly what he wanted to talk about. Part of her heart leapt with the thought that he was going to finally share with her; the other part cringed with the fear of knowing.

Taking his hand, she looked deep into his eyes. "Jack, just like I said before, I will love you no matter what happened in the past." The eyes that looked back at her seemed to bore into her soul; searching for her love and acceptance. She prayed what he saw there would be what he needed to convince him she was never going to leave him.

Watching her, he saw in her something he had never seen in any other person before. Her eyes shown with a love that would see him through the hard times, and love him despite all he had done. He prayed that what he saw reflected in those hazel depths was true, and that tomorrow, together they would find a way to heal old wounds.

With his free hand, he allowed himself to touch her sweet face, trailing his finger down her jaw line, then stroking her hair. "Sue, you are the most amazing woman I have ever met." It was all he could get out. Without a lot of thought, he moved closer to her, allowing his lips to brush over hers. Immediately, he felt her response, and he deepened the kiss. It was not as passionate as some of the kisses they had shared while in New York, but to Sue it was more special. It was a kiss that spoke to her soul. A reminder, yet again, of the love they shared. A love that Sue knew was unconditional. As her hands moved around the neck of the man in front of her, she knew that together they would get through whatever storms life had.


	13. Chapter 13

"For nearly ten years, Bobby, you have been like a brother to me. I can not tell you how happy I am that you chose Tara to spend the rest of your life with. Through the years you both have become family, and I will cherish what you have brought to my life. May the two of you together, continue to find the happiness you both deserve, for years to come." Jack held his glass of punch into the air then drank before sitting back down.

Feeling Sue close beside him, he almost wished he drank something stronger than punch. He had long ago chosen not to drink alcohol. Early in life, he had seen his own father's struggle with alcoholism and had realized how drinking could control a life. As a teenager he had watched friends who thought that a drink or two couldn't hurt anyone. Though many never had a problem, he had watched as one of his best friends had lost control. Often Jack would see him take a drink before exiting his car in the morning. Watching his friend's life change before his very eyes, Jack had realized that no one knew how one drink would affect them. Deciding that it was not worth the risk, he had stayed away from alcohol completely. Tonight, however, the champagne tempted him, as he wondered if it might calm the nerves that were waging war on his resolve.

As if in response to his wayward thoughts, Sue's hand moved to rest on his knee. Rarely did she ever touch him unless he initiated it, and never had she been bold enough to touch his leg. Somehow, it felt more intimate than simply holding hands, and the sheer delight it sent through Jack did little to calm the butterflies in his stomach. Seeing a slight blush creep into her cheeks, he knew she was embarrassed at her own move, and he felt her hand begin to retreat. Before allowing her time to remove it completely, he laid his own hand over hers, rubbing his thumb over her soft skin.

Powerless to stop the blush from flooding her face, she did everything she could think of to avoid eye contact with the man beside her. What made her put her hand on his leg in the first place? That was a move reserved for people in a relationship, which she and Jack were not. However, he did trap her hand, and now it rested there of his own accord, so why wouldn't the embarrassment leave?

Keeping her eyes on Tara and Bobby, she watched as they reached the dance floor. As they began the first dance, Sue could not help dreaming of a time when it would be her first dance with the man who sat beside her, tenderly stroking his thumb along her knuckles. Her mind was completely wrapped up in her dreams, and she did not notice his movement, until he was nearly standing, still holding onto her hand. Without a word, he led her onto the dance floor, and began swaying to the music she could not hear.

"You know, you don't have to be embarrassed." His words brought the red tint back to her cheeks even as they were meant to give her some measure of peace. This very thing was one of the things that he loved about her. Most women would not think twice about touching him. Many women had done far more than Sue, without so much as a hint of timidity. Sue had a innocence about her that was almost childlike in a way, and yet, made her more of a woman than any other lady he had ever met. "Have I told you how special you are?"

The quirky grin on his face caused her to wish she had the guts to pull him into a kiss right there in the middle of the dance floor. Instead, she tried to diffuse the situation. "No, I don't recall you ever telling me that. But, feel free to go into detail."

Grinning, he rolled his eyes. "That, my dear, sounds like something I would say. However, I would be happy to give you a more detailed report later."

"I will remind you of that." She smiled as he swirled her around the dance floor. Amazingly, she felt completely at ease dancing with Jack, knowing as long as she followed him, he would keep her where she needed to be. Not only in the dance, but in life. Jack was her anchor, and had been for so long now she was unsure she would be able to move if he was not in her life. If he only understood the importance of his presence in her world, she was sure he would never feel insecure about the past that he fought so hard to come to terms with.

After dancing for some time, then saying goodbye to the newlyweds, Jack took Sue by the hand and led her to his car. His heart was dancing around in his chest, reminding him of the night ahead of him. Silently, they headed to her apartment so she could change, and then to his apartment where he changed out of his tux. When he came to his living room in black jeans and a button down gray shirt, he was pleased to see approval in Sue's eyes. Taking her hand, he moved to the couch, and pulled her down beside him. Levi was already perched in the chair by the window, snoring as usual.

"Sue, do you mind if we do the talking first. I am not sure I can eat until I get this out."

Without a word, Sue moved back into the couch, turning her body towards him. As he began, she prayed silently for this man she loved more than words, and as quickly as the words moved from her heart to God's ears, she felt a peace come over her. Reading Jack's lips and hands, she watched as he relived the moments that had plagued him for years.


	14. Chapter 14

_I wanted to say again how thankful I am for those who have written replies. I appreciate the fact that people are actually reading this. There are few things better than writing. One possibly hearing that people actually like what you are writing! I hope that you will enjoy this next post also. I wrote it a little differently, and hope it works for you. _

It has been a hard night, and I am glad to get to her apartment. Things with Kristin are going well for now. The latest rehab seems to have done the trick. Her dad still doesn't like me, but then, the feeling is pretty mutual. I don't think he could ever like anyone who he thought might take his little girl away, and if things keep going well, I just might do that. Even with all the drug mess, I just can't get her out of my mind. Ever since that first time I saw her walk into the pen, that long, strawberry blond, curly hair, those big blue eyes. She took my breath away. Still does. I just hope this time she stays clean.

Walking in the door, I can see she is struggling. That look is in her eyes. The only way to explain it is she looks far away. "Hey sweetheart." I lean over her couch, kissing her lightly, she responds immediately, and we spend a few minutes "saying" hello.

As I spend this time making out, my head issues the warning that I ignore, even as I have ignored it many times before. It is almost like I can hear the voice from my past, "…make some boundaries….don't let yourself be in a compromising position…" Coach Smith's words come back in a rush, but I push them aside. Lying on the couch with Kristin is not the time to wonder if I am following my mentor's advice.

Finally, I break away, straightening until I am sitting up. I know I have to get out of this apartment, or I will break the vow I made. How many times had I almost broken it already. Sometimes I find that I almost don't care. I love this woman after all. What would it hurt? I have got to stop thinking this way. "Want to go out to eat?"

"Can't we stay here? " Her hand is running up and down my chest, and I can see the suggestion in her eyes. This is the way it has been for a while. Isn't it normally supposed to be the guy who puts the pressure on the woman? Oh well, I love her, and I know it must be hard for her to understand. No matter how many times I explain it, she feels I am rejecting her.

Grabbing her hand, I hope to diffuse the situation. "Let's go. I'll take you to your favorite burger joint." Standing up, I pulled her up beside me, and start walking towards the door, not giving her time to say no. She makes no effort to try to hide her disappointment.

*******************

We are back at her place now, and I am fighting the urge again to forget everything I have promised. I think I probably should leave so I will not be tempted anymore. I stand to go, just as I notice her eyes fill with tears. I can't stand to see her cry. She has always known that, but since the drugs, it has been worse. I am always worried I will do the wrong thing. I didn't even realize she was using for so long. What if I do the wrong thing, and she goes right back down that same path? Will I be able to help her? Will I even see the signs this time? I love her too much to let her hurt herself.

Her voice is pleading, "Jack, I don't know if I can make it tonight. Nothing has to happen. Just stay here. Help me get through the night." Through her tears I see a hint of a smile as she says, "I'll behave myself. I promise."

My mind is screaming at me to leave. I know deep down what will happen if I spend the night here. We have come too close. All my good intentions will fly out the window. But if I leave, and she uses, it will always be my fault. Can I stay here and not go too far? What is keeping me from being with her anyway? I mean we love each other, right. There is that voice in my head again, reminding me that once I make a mistake I can't undo it. But would it be so bad? After all, it is just one night.

Looking into her eyes, I make my decision. I tell myself we won't do anything, but as soon as I tell her I will stay, I know where we will end up. From the look on her face, so does she.

* * *

It has been months since I broke my promise to God, and though I feel guilty, I must add, I do enjoy the benefits. I know that sounds bad, but I love her. Somewhere deep in the recesses of my heart, I know that I have allowed myself to justify what I am doing. But then, so many people do it. Why should it bother me so much. I waited longer than most. Besides, with me being around so much, and giving her what she wants, she seems to no longer even think about the drugs.

Walking into the apartment where I spend the majority of my evenings, I immediately notice her face. Something is wrong. I lean in for a kiss, but find her lips do not respond to my touch. "What's going on?"

"Sit down Jack." Her voice is monotone, and I am immediately ill at ease, but I do as she says. When her eyes look into mine, they are lifeless. Has she taken something? I am not sure. My heart is nearly frozen, until I hear her next words. Then it nearly beats out of my chest. "I am pregnant."

Up until that moment, I never imagined how one eight letter word could cause such horrendous terror. My mouth is suddenly dry. My stomach aches. Questions swirl around in my head, making me feel dizzy. How will I raise a kid while I am just earning my stripes in the FBI? What will her father say? Am I ready to marry Kristin? Will she want me to? What will my friends say? My family? What would Coach Smith think if he saw me now?

It is this last question that haunts me most. He has been my hero, my mentor for so many years. He is the man that led me to Christ. I am going to disappoint him. He would already be disappointed in my walk with the Savior, and now this. I realize even now, that I did not add to my list of questions, "What would God think of me now?" Seems the answer to that question is painfully obvious.

Feeling the overwhelming need to move around, I stand and turn toward the little kitchenette. My eyes are immediately greeted by several colorful brochures. Picking one up, I realize that it is from the Planned Parenthood organization. Plastered on the front are pictures of young, beautiful, healthy women. All have smiles on their faces. I am intrigued by what information might be inside. Opening it, I read about the process by which we can 'eliminate' our problem. My eyes glance over to a hand written note on the side. "Counseling appointment: Tuesday, 10 am." Suddenly, the words on the page become more clear to me. This delightful little brochure is talking about abortion.

I turn towards Kristin, with a questioning gaze. "I am just going to talk to them." Her voice is still monotone, her eyes still bear the look of emptiness. Returning my gaze on the brochure, I force myself not to consider what I have always believed about abortion. Instead, I focus on the fact that this is a counseling appointment. After that, we can discuss it.

"Do you want me to go with you?" I ask her, even knowing what I hope her answer will be. I breath a small sigh of relief as I hear her say no.

* * *

How did we get here? She was going in for counseling, and yet here we are at the hospital. I came home tonight, expecting to spend the evening discussing the things she had been counseled on, as well as what I had been thinking about all day. However, when I walked in the door, I heard her in the bathroom crying. I found her in the bathtub, bleeding profusely. At first I assumed it was a miscarriage until I heard her tell the nurse she had an abortion earlier today. Now I am reeling from the shock of it all. Was it only yesterday that I learned she was pregnant?

Honestly, it is my fault. I know it. I should have told her I would be there for her. I would do whatever it took. We would get through this together. I should have told her that the life that was growing inside of her was worth whatever sacrifices we needed to make. I should have held her, and let her cry on my shoulder. Instead, I let her believe that it was her responsibility. My lips never moved to reassure her. Nothing came from me that even showed a little that I wanted this child. In fact, though I had not told her I wanted her to get an abortion, I had not told her I didn't. Somehow, even as I said nothing, I had said far too much. Now it was too late. The beating heart of my own flesh and blood had been snuffed out. I knew that it was a life, and yet, I did nothing to save it. My child was gone.

****************

This apartment has never looked gloomier. All my things are gone from Kristin's place. Even Kristin is gone. Her body is still there, but the woman I fell in love with died months ago. After the abortion, her body healed, but she didn't. Neither did I. She needed me to be there for her, but I couldn't. When I looked at her, all I could see was my own guilt. Most of the time it came out as anger. She thought it was directed at her, but it was really anger at myself.

Every time she looked at me, I saw the sadness in her eyes. Whoever said you can make a stop in an abortion clinic and all your problems will be erased, had either never been through the process, or were not being honest.

I wanted to try to work it out with Kristin, but the grief had catapulted her back into the drugs she had so desperately fought off before. Staying with her was hopeless. We could barely look at each other, and the drugs would wreak my career. Looking back I realize that it all started with that one decision. I chose to go against my convictions. I stayed. Because of that, I had lost the woman I loved, and the baby I never had a chance to know. Because of me, Kristin was spiraling out of control, and I was at a loss to help her.

****************

It's been years since we broke up. Years since I have talked to her. And yet, the pain is still excruciating. Tara's words ring in my head loud and clear. Kristin is dead. It is my fault. This case has reminded me of all the reasons I have no right to have a future with the woman who sits across from me now. I have broken a vow to God. Stood by without saying a word as they silenced my own flesh and blood, and ultimately, I have driven the woman that I cared for so deeply to her death. If I try I can reason it all out, and allow myself to feel less responsible, but in the quiet depths of my heart, I know it is all my doing.

* * *

Sue's eyes had filled and spilled over so often while watching Jack relive his past that she had gone through more than a few Kleenex trying to stay presentable. Her heart ached for the grief and pain this man had born all this time. His eyes looked up to hers, and she saw the anguish they held. Without a word, she moved to him, wrapped her arms around him, and felt the sobs of grief wrack his body. For this time Sue became Jack's anchor as the years of guilt and shame began to heal.

_To anyone who might have read this and who has gone through an abortion, please know that I do not write this to hurt you. I make no apologies for my view of the sanctity of life, but, as I hope to show throughout the rest of this story, I also believe that there is healing and forgiveness for those who have traveled this path. _

_For those who don't share my views, as I said before, I welcome your opinion when it is shared respectfully. Thank you for reading._


	15. Chapter 15

_Tangosalsa: I am sorry to have confused you. Between chapter 6 (when they say goodbye) and chapter 7, two and a half weeks go by. The first paragraph in ch. 7 indicated the passage of time:_

"Moving through the airport, Jack wondered how much longer he could keep this up. He was enjoying the work, and even the pace, but he missed being on the front lines, solving the tough cases, and making the arrests. For the last two and a half weeks, he had been traveling to FBI offices, working with other team leaders and their teams. It had been a learning experience, as well as a good opportunity to find some of his own strengths and pass them on."

_I hope that this helps make it clearer. I hate that you were confused. At this point, he was in New York, and that is where the plane went down. If you have anymore questions, or if I didn't make something clear, don't hesitate to ask. _

_Thanks to those who have responded. Hope you continue to enjoy the story._

Jack realized that this was an unusual position for him, and he felt slightly uncomfortable. He was a man, after all. A tough FBI agent, ready to defend the world against the bad guys. Yet, here he was, weeping in front of the woman he loved. He felt vulnerable, and something else. He felt loved. Pulling himself away slightly, he looked into the hazel eyes he had come to know so well. What was reflected in those eyes made him feel a hope that he could move on. "Sorry. I am not normally this--" He couldn't quite think of the word that he was searching for.

"It's ok, Jack. There is nothing wrong with men showing some emotion." A small smile played on her face, and lightened his heart for a moment.

"Sue, if I could I would change it all. But, wishing it away doesn't do any good. This is my life. Full of baggage. I know I have no right to love you, but I do. I don't want you to feel pressure for a relationship. I am sure this changes your view of me."

Hoping her voice was calm, she looked directly into his eyes. "Jack, if you think that how I feel about you would change because of your past, then you have no idea how I love you. This is a part of you. A piece of you that you wish you could change. We all have things we would like to do over." Seeing his eyes cloud over again, she laid her hand over his, and continued to speak. "I love you more now than I did 30 minutes ago, Jack. So many men would never feel any guilt or distress over what happened. The fact that you care only speaks of your integrity all the more."

"You mean, you can forgive me for--for all of this?" Though she could not hear his voice, she could see the amazement in his expression.

"I don't need to forgive you. I have no right to hold anything against you. Besides, you don't need my forgiveness. That is not what you are searching for."

"You think I need to forgive myself?" The question had plagued him before, and he wondered if he could do that. Forgive his own failings. However, Sue surprised him with her answer.

"No. You don't need your own forgiveness either. In fact, what you need you already have. You need God's forgiveness." Jack was slightly confused, but his heart knew she was speaking truth to him, and he sat and listened. "Jack, God forgives us the minute we ask, but often times we don't accept that forgiveness. I think that is where you are now. You keep asking Him to forgive you, waiting for some lightning bolt to strike, but that is not how He works. His forgiveness is immediate. We are the ones that continually bring up the sin. He has forgiven you, you just have to accept it--believe it."

"How did you get so wise Sue Thomas?"

"Levi coaches me." The dog raised his head at his name, then immediately replaced it over his paws and closed his eyes. Both humans laughed a little, relieving some of the tension of the night.

"You hungry?" It was hard for Sue not to laugh at his question. It seemed that with Jack, everything revolved around eating.

"I could eat."

Standing up, his hand still holding hers, he pulled her towards him. When she stood in front of him, he moved his free hand to push a strand of hair behind her ear. "Thank you." He spoke the words almost reverently, realizing how much she had given him tonight. "For so long I have struggled with this part of my life. Thinking I could never love again. Then when I realized that I indeed could love, I felt that my punishment for my sin was to live without you. I never imagined that you could love me after you knew. I am sorry I doubted you."

Smiling, she looked at him, realizing that her years of waiting were coming to an end. "Would you quit apologizing for everything and just kiss me."

"Weelll," his eyes sparkled as he stretched out the word, pretending to be considering her request. "Let me see. You want me to kiss you? That is a bit forward of you, Thomas. I mean, I am your training agent. What would people say?" Just as he expected, he saw the blush creep in her face as she realized that she had indeed been forward. Reaching out, he put his arm around her waist, and closed the gap between them. "Know what? I kind of like the forward Sue." Without anymore teasing he moved his head toward her. Feeling as if he had just shed the weight of the world, he kissed her with a passion that left them both breathless. After a few moments, he pulled away far enough for her to read his lips clearly. "Sue, I let my boundaries slip before. I can't do that again. I need you to understand that I have to be more careful."

Her voice was shaky as she spoke. "I need boundaries too, Jack. I am relieved that I don't have to explain that to you."

"Let's get out of here, and go get something to eat." Calling Levi, they moved out the door hand in hand. There would be more bumps along the way, and things they still needed to talk about, but for now they were happy. Ready to face whatever the world held--together.


	16. Chapter 16

_Someone got the impression that this story was over...sorry to have made you think that. There are still a few more chapters. Hope no one minds! Have a good day folks._

_*****_

The evening was going better than Jack had ever expected. After their talk, he had taken Sue to dinner, and then they had walked Levi for over an hour. They had planned on seeing a movie, but instead had taken advantage of the longer daylight hours. Together they walked and talked about nearly everything. For years they had been so at ease with each other, yet they had always held a little back. Tonight however, it was as if every part of their hearts were exposed, and each had willingly given that last piece to the other, both finding in giving that piece the other, they were complete.

"I was wondering if you would be willing to go home with me for Easter?" Jack was a little nervous asking her, as she had only a week to prepare.

"Um, I would like to, but you do know that is next weekend, right?"

"Yes, I do, but I know you have the time. You rarely take a day off ever. And, I want you to meet my family. Well, more than my family. My track coach is having an anniversary. He and his wife will be celebrating 50 years. His friends are giving him a surprise party and they have asked me to come. Honestly, until tonight I was not sure if I could face him, but now I know I can. I want you to meet him."

"He must be very special to you." Looking into Jack's eyes, she saw a look that told her that the man he spoke of had made a difference in his life.

"Yes, he is the reason I stayed on the right path. I told you before about my dad. He struggled with alcohol for a long time, and when I was young he was abusive to my mother. He tried to make it right, and went to AA, but the scars were there. When I got to middle school, I started going the wrong way. That is when I met Coach Smith.

"He worked at the middle school and the high school because they were short staffed. He would come to the middle school for some P.E. classes, and it happened that he was in mine. Immediately, I saw he was different than anyone I had ever met. A lot of teachers were nice and helpful. Many of them I truly believe cared about the students. But few had the time to give to students in need. Their jobs were so demanding that they were overwhelmed with what they had to do. Coach Smith, however made time.

"Honestly, it was as if he chose me as his project that first year. Somehow, on that first day of class, he looked at me and saw that I needed something more than P.E. He asked me if I was interested in track. At that time, I had no idea what I was interested in, but I decided to try it and see. That is when I started running. Once I got on that track, I fell in love. Coach encouraged me to use running as a way to think through my problems. I tried it, and found out that not only did it work, but I was good at it.

"Somehow, he saw in me potential, and started working with me more often. He worked me hard, and I bucked him for awhile, but soon I realized that he truly cared about me, and wanted me to succeed. We spent long hours talking about my goals. I had never told anyone about my dreams to be in the FBI, because I thought people would laugh, but he listened and encouraged, reminding me that I needed to be above the crowd in order to make my dreams come true.

"By the time I got to high school, I was running everyday, and Coach and I were good friends, though he never favored me on the track. I had to earn my spot like everyone else. On a personal level, however, I knew we had developed a friendship that was unusual. Through the years I had noticed he lived differently than others. I never saw him do or say anything that was questionable, and it intrigued me. One night, he invited me to his house for a meal with his wife. This was not completely unusual, as I had been there before. His wife seemed to adopt me as her own kid. Maybe it was cause they didn't have kids themselves.

"Anyway, on this night, as we sat at the table, I finally asked the question that had been on my mind for so long. I asked him why he was different. My heart needed to know what made him tick, and if I could have what he had. Up until that time, he had never spoken to me about his faith in God, and it was good, because I was not ready for that. Not until that night. Coach knew me better than anyone at that time, and he had waited for me to ask. But when I asked, he answered.

"First, I remember him assuring me that he was a sinner, and he told me that we all are. Then he moved to the message of Christ. He explained how Jesus was God's Son, and he had come to give life to me. I sat amazed as he explained how this sinless man who did nothing but good, was arrested, beaten, and finally hung on a cross. It enraged me, until he told me that I was the reason He died. Then it broke me. The kind of love he described was unknown to me at the time. It was months later that I finally received Christ, but it was all because of Coach."

Sue had been silent as Jack had spoke. Tears again flowed freely from her eyes, and she wondered how many more times he could make her cry tonight. "That is beautiful, Jack. Of course, I want to meet him. I have a lot to thank him for." She smiled into his eyes, and wondered how she had lived this long without this man. Before now, she was sure her heart had not been complete.

"I want you to meet him, but more than that, I want him to meet you. Without a doubt, he is going to love you. His blessing is important to me." Taking both her hands in his, he tugged her slightly forward. "In a lot of ways he is like a father to me, and I want him to meet the woman who has my heart. The woman I want to share my life with. I love you." With that he moved his arms around her and proceeded to kiss her again the way he had dreamed of for so long.


	17. Chapter 17

_OK folks, I have been very bad! I didn't mean to let this go on with no post for so long, however, here it is...But here I am again, and a new post or two. Hope you enjoy! _

_********_

Sitting on the plane beside Jack, Sue felt the nerves she had pushed aside all week come back with a vengeance. Meeting his parents seemed like a big deal. Meeting Coach Smith and his wife seemed like a huge deal. What would they think of her? Would they feel uncomfortable because she was deaf? All her insecurities seemed to taunt her, as she realized that should his family and friends not like her, it might change Jack's opinion of her also. As if he had read her thoughts, he moved his hand to rest on hers, and let his other hand gently lift her chin so that her eyes were looking into his. "You are not getting nervous are you?"

"Nope. Not getting nervous." A few tears pooled in her eyes as the fears came to the surface. "I am way beyond getting nervous."

"Sue, everyone is going to love you. My mom and dad have heard about you so much through the years that they feel like they already know you. And Coach Smith and his wife have heard your name in several phone conversations also." Wiping her tears with his thumbs, he wished he could show her how great she really was. "Look at me. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. Everyone who meets you will see that immediately. And if they miss it somehow, I will tell them." As he had hoped, this brought a small smile to her face. Reaching in he touched her lips with his lightly, loving the freedom to kiss her as often as he wanted.

"Know what?" Her voice was much lighter now, though the butterflies in her stomach were still flying in odd patterns. "I sure am glad you finally wised up!" A laugh escaped her lips, and he laughed with her.

"Well, if you would let Levi come out and play more often, maybe he would have given me more lessons, and I could have wised up sooner."

"Levi told me that you were too hard a case." For the next hour, the pair teased each other and laughed, simply enjoying being together.

When the plane finally came to rest on the ground at the General Mitchell International Airport in Milwaukee, Jack turned once more towards Sue, and took hold of her hand. "Ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be." She pasted on a smile, and allowed him to lead her down the tarmac and into the large airport. After gathering their bags, they headed towards the front doors. Within seconds of walking onto the sidewalk, Sue's eyes met a pair of dark brown eyes belonging to a face that was much like Jack's only older. The man approached them tentatively and she watched as Jack's eyes clouded with emotions. Mr. Hudson reached out his hand to shake the younger man's, but Jack quickly embraced him. From everything that Jack had told her, Sue knew that though his father had become a Christian since Jack did, the relationship that had been so damaged when he was a child still suffered. Somehow, in this moment, Sue knew this would be a life changing trip for father and son.

"Dad, this is Sue." Jack signed as he spoke, and she could see pride in his father's eyes.

"Nice to meet you." They shook hands, then they all turned towards the parking area. Jack's hand found hers as they walked, and she enjoyed the feeling of belonging that he always made sure to give her.

On the ride home, Jack and his father talked about his friends and family. Jack was careful to keep her in the conversation, and took time to explain who each name was, and how they were related to the family. Finally, after about an hour, they pulled into the driveway of a modest brick home. The older Mr. Hudson took the bags from the trunk and headed inside, as Jack came around and took a moment to calm Sue's nerves one more time with a kiss. "They're going to love you. How could they not?" Sue smiled as she remembered a moment years ago when Jack said nearly the same words to her when they were waiting on the new supervisor, Ted Garrett.

Looking towards the house, he realized his father had left them alone, and he decided to take advantage of these few moments. Leaning towards her slightly, he moved his hands around her waist, and lowered his head. Before placing another kiss on her lips, he spoke the words that his heart hammered out every minute of the day. "Sue, I love you. I will always love you." Finally he let the kiss speak for him, pulling away before he wanted to, but realizing that they needed to get inside.

Stepping into Jack's past, filled with hearing people, she felt the need to rub her hand through the thick hair of the dog who was more than just her ears, but also her friend. She had chosen to leave Levi with Lucy knowing that flying was hard on him, but she missed him terribly at this point. Jack's arm around her was the only reason she was able to walk through the door of his parent's home.

Upon stepping in, she was greeted by a shorter woman, with salt and pepper hair, and a smile that reached from ear to ear. Though Jack obviously took his eyes and looks from his father, the smile on the face in front of her was undoubtedly the same as Jack's. "Welcome to our home," Jack's mother surprised her by signing.

Taken aback, Sue signed and spoke, "Thank you," then looked towards Jack with a question in her eyes.

"She made me promise not to tell you until you got here." He smiled slyly.

"Our church recently started a deaf ministry, and I have been taking classes. Somehow, I knew that eventually Jack would invite you to come home with him. After all, he has talked about you for the past five years almost non-stop." His mother signed most of what she said, only stopping when she was unsure of a particular sign. Sue smiled, feeling a little more at ease, and slightly humored by the look of obvious embarrassment on Jack's face. "I have always wanted to learn sign language, but I didn't really know where to start. Then when Jack came home a few years ago, he showed me a little. When they started a deaf ministry I was so excited. Sorry I am not as fluent as I would like to be."

"You are doing great!" Sue spoke and signed. She was truly impressed by the woman's signing. "I would be happy to help while I am here." With these words, Sue was immediately swallowed in the small woman's embrace.

"I can tell I am going to like you already!" The older woman stated when she let go of Sue. "Let me show you to your room. Jack, get her bags." With a small smile Sue's way, Jack picked up the bags, and headed down the hall to the room his mother was leading Sue to. His mother had always been friendly, even during the worst time in her life, she had made others feel welcome. He had known that Sue would be no exception. In fact, he was sure she and Sue would become fast friends in the time they were together. Dropping her bags in the guest room, he started towards his own room to deposit his bags, smiling again as he heard his mother instruct Sue to call her Marty.

Walking into the room that had been his since they had moved to this house when he was only nine, he thought back to the last time he had brought a girlfriend here. It had been Kristin, and he had thought at the time that maybe he had a future with her. Now he knew that, though he had loved her, there had never been the kind of relationship that would have weathered the storms of life. Thinking of the blond analyst in the next room, he realized that through the years they had built more than just a romantic relationship. He and Sue had developed a friendship and a bond that was unlike any he had ever experienced before. In the past months, since he had told her he loved her, he had realized the depth of their bond, and he knew that no matter what happened, they would be together. He had no questions in his mind and heart where this was going, and for the first time in as long as he remembered, he was excited for the future. Now he had to figure out a way to share his dreams with her, so that their future could start soon. Life was too short to wait.


	18. Chapter 18

The anniversary party was well underway when Jack headed towards Coach Smith. He could tell that Sue was feeling overwhelmed with all the people and conversations in the room, and he wondered if she was wishing she hadn't come with him. Turning towards her before they made it to the coaches table, he signed discreetly, "You ok? We don't have to stay if you are uncomfortable."

Grateful for his kind gesture, Sue wished she was better at this sort of thing. "I am fine. Just a lot of mouths to keep up with here." Smiling she looked into his eyes, and wished she could kiss him right there in the middle of this room filled with people. "In fact, I am right where I want to be. Beside you."

"You, my dear, know how to make me want to leave a party right away." His eyes twinkled, and the smile on his face told her he wished they had a little more privacy so he could make her wish come true. Instead of a kiss, however, he touched her nose with his finger, playfully. "Now, I want to go show you off to my friends. They will never believe I snagged someone like you." He winked then took her hand and led her to the table where the older couple sat.

Before they even got close to the table, Sue watched as the man stood up with tears forming in his eyes. "Jack Hudson!!!" Coming around the table, the big, burly man threw his arms around the younger FBI agent. As the two stood hugging each other, it was obvious that Jack was reigning in his emotion, trying to disguise the feelings that were nearly tumbling out as he reunited with the man who had been so instrumental in his life. When the two parted, Coach Smith looked towards Sue. "And who is this lovely young lady?"

With a smile beaming on his face, Jack signed as he spoke. "This is my best friend, partner and my girlfriend, Sue Thomas." Even as the word 'girlfriend' escaped his lips, he couldn't believe he was saying it. For so long Sue had been his friend and partner, it seemed so odd to say the words his heart had wanted to hear for so long. Odd, but completely right.

"So this is Sue. I was wondering if you were ever going to get around to asking her out." The coach looked towards Sue, smiling. "This guy has been talking about you for some time now. And now that I see you, I totally understand why. You are as beautiful as he said you were."

Smiling Sue took his outstretched hand and shook it, even as she felt her cheeks heat up. The man who stood before the couple saw not only the looks of embarrassment, but also, the looks of pure joy written on both faces. The track coach was amused that he could still elicit such a response from his former student. Laughing, he turned his attention to the woman who was standing to his right. Trying to remember to keep his lips visible, he kept his eyes on his wife as he spoke. "This lovely woman is my wife, Molly."

Molly Smith was a plump woman who stood eye to eye with Sue. Her red hair curled in every different direction at once, and her green eyes were filled with a contentment that comes from a life well lived. She had stood by her husband quietly, and now she held out her hand towards Sue. "It is nice to meet you, Sue. I am glad you could come with Jack." It seemed Molly was a bit more reserved than her husband, but Sue had the feeling that if she could ever get to know this woman, she would find in her a fiery spirit to match her fiery hair.

"Nice to meet you too. And congratulations on your anniversary. Fifty years is a big milestone. It seems not many people get there anymore."

"That's cause they don't have a wife like mine. If everyone had a woman like this, there would never be a divorce." The coach's face was filled with pride and love as he smiled into the eyes of his wife. He then turned towards Jack and smiled widely. "If I am not wrong, I would say that this Sue of yours is one to hold onto too. You better put a ring on her finger before she gets snatched up by some other guy!"

Smiling, Jack reached over and took Sue's hand, hoping that the next words he said would not scare her to death. "Coach, as always, you are right. I plan on working on that real soon." Watching Sue carefully, he noticed the slight surprise show in her face, but as she moved her eyes from his lips to his eyes, he saw the response there, and was pleased by the fact that she seemed delighted with the prospect.

"Jack, Sue, we were wondering if you would like to have lunch with us before you leave." Molly's voice was soft, and Jack smiled at the woman. Molly was always a bit shy in a room full of people, but when she was in her home, she was a pistol. One of his favorite memories of her was the day that he had been upset because of the most recent break up between him and Allie. Coach had invited him to dinner. While they ate, Molly had cracked some jokes, trying to make him smile, but Jack's mood was too sour. After dinner, he and Coach had moved into the living room, and she had stayed in the kitchen to clean. After about a half hour, they were interupted by a loud holler from the bedroom area. Looking up, Jack watched as the woman came tearing through the hall and towards him. She was wearing bibbed overalls and had her hair teased so that it was as big as he had ever seen any hair in his life. Stopping only long enough to put on some music, she came right up to him and pulled him out of his seat. Smiling widely, he saw she had blacked out a couple of teeth. In the best southern drawl he had ever heard, she said sweetly, "Hey handsome. I sure was hopin' we might could dance. I think you're real cute!" For the remainder of the night she had entertained both him and Coach, never breaking the character she had made for herself. By the time he left, he was no longer depressed about his break up, but his sides were sore from laughing. He doubted she would open up much in the short time that he and Sue would be there, but he hoped one day that she would be comfortable enough around Sue to show her true personality.

"We would love to. Is Monday good for you?" He and Sue had already talked about inviting them out for lunch Monday, but he was happy to have been invited over. He wanted to talk to this couple about so much, and it would be easier in the comfort of the home he had spent many evenings at while in high school.

"Monday it is." Coach smiled. "And, maybe, if you are real good, Molly will make you some chocolate pie."

"He doesn't have to be good to get chocolate pie. You however," she poked the man's large stomach, "will have to do some convincing to get a piece." They all laughed together. For the rest of the evening Sue watched as Jack caught up on all the gossip from around his hometown.

It was getting late when Jack and Sue headed towards the door. The crowd had thinned considerably, and most of he people who were standing around were saying their goodbyes. As soon as the pair walked out the door, Jack circled his arm around Sue's waist, dipping his head down to place a light kiss on her lips. Fighting the urge to make the light kiss something more, he pulled back, and started walking towards the car. Walking around to open her door, he saw a spark in her eye. "What is it?"

"Nothing really. I had a good time tonight. Your friends are great." The wild thumping in her chest was in actuality due to the memory of his words from earlier. She had known for over two years that this was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, but seeing him tonight seeming to say he was planning on proposing had made it all seem real. Without saying anything more, she seated herself in the car, and watched as he moved around to the driver's side. As soon as he positioned himself behind the wheel, she moved her hand to his face. Surprised he looked towards her, just as she hoped he would. Immediately, she pulled him closer and kissed him with a passion she had never even known before now. When she finally broke away, his face was filled with surprise and amusement.

"What was that for? Not that I am complaining, but you usually don't do that." His hand stroked her hair, as he tried to steady his breathing. The affect she had on him was amazing.

"I have just been waiting to kiss you all night, and I couldn't wait any longer."

"Well, I am happy to oblige you. In fact, I think you probably should do it again. After all, you did have to wait all night." He laughed lightly, before she claimed his lips again. The kiss quickly escalated, as he felt the heat of passion flame in him. Slowly, he moved away. "I love you." The words were spoken in a whisper, as the desire showed on both their faces. Placing a light kiss on her lips, he straightened himself, and started the car. Taking her hand, the rode to his parent's house in silence, both thinking about the day when they could ride to their house and finish what they started.


	19. Chapter 19

_Let me begin this chapter by saying a few things. I want to sincerely thank those who have reviewed this story. I am always stunned, awed, and humbled by the people who find my writing enjoyable enough to tell me. My hope is that this piece speaks to your heart. _

_I also want to apologize. I have waited far too long to add these chapters. Honestly, there has been some issues with my computer as well as my internet, but I should have found a way to get this up. Sorry to have left you hanging for so long. _

_I wrote this chapter with a specific friend in mind, and I started not to add it here, however I didn't want to leave out the power of Christ's forgiveness in Jack's life. Hope you don't mind._

Sitting in the large church, Jack watched the interpreter signed the announcements as the preacher spoke. No matter how much he practiced, he never thought he would be that quick. Sue, however, didn't seem to mind his inadequacy in this area. She had told him many times how much she appreciated him signing to her, and even if he felt a little awkward sometimes, he would sign for her if she liked it. In many ways, it had become second nature in their conversations. Both of them moving back and forth seamlessly. Thinking of their relationship brought a smile to his face. It had always been unique, as they had always had a chemistry that few people found together. Now it was better than he ever thought it could be. This amazing woman had not only accepted him, but had welcomed him-flaws and all. How could he do anything but love her?

The pastor finished the announcements, and then introduced a special singer. "David Phelps is here, visiting family this week, and he has agreed to sing for us." Jack listened to the wild applause and wondered who this man was that everyone was so excited. The name seemed only slightly familiar, but he had no idea why. Seeing the curly haired man walk to the microphone, Jack was unsure what to expect, but the minute his voice hit Jack's ears, there was no question that the song he stood singing was not only beautifully presented, but also the exact song Jack needed to hear on this Easter Sunday morning. As the song began to describe Peter, Jack found himself in the story, feeling the emotions with the disciple.

"The gates and doors were barred

And all the windows fastened down

I spent the night in sleeplessness

And arose at every sound

Half in hopeless sorrow

And half in fear the day

Would find the soldiers breakin' through

To drag us all away

Then just before the sunrise

I heard something at the wall

The gate began to rattle

And a voice began to call

I hurried to the window

Looked down into the street

Expecting swords and torches

And the sound of soldiers' feet

But there was no one there but Mary

So I went down to let her in

John stood there beside me

As she told me where she'd been

She said they might have moved Him in the night

And none of us knows where

The stone's been rolled away

And now His body isn't there

We both ran toward the garden

Then John ran on ahead

We found the stone and empty tomb

Just the way that Mary said

But the winding sheet they wrapped Him in

Was just an empty shell

And how or where they'd taken Him

Was more than I could tell

Oh something strange had happened there

Just what I did not know

John believed a miracle

But I just turned to go

Circumstance and speculation

Couldn't lift me very high

'Cause I'd seen them crucify him

Then I saw him die

Back inside the house again

The guilt and anguish came

Everything I'd promised Him

Just added to my shame

When at last it came to choices

I denied I knew His name

And even if He was alive

It wouldn't be the same"

Tears began to overflow from Jack's eyes, as he connected his own story with the life of this broken disciple. He remembered how Peter had denied Jesus, and Jack understood that Peter had done nothing more than he himself. Forgetting anyone else was in the room, he wept with Peter. He too had felt it could never be the same. In awe he listened as the story unfolded.

"Then suddenly the air was filled

With a strange and sweet perfume

Light that came from everywhere

Drove the shadows from the room

And Jesus stood before me

With his arms held open wide

And I fell down on my knees

And I just clung to Him and cried

Then He raised me to my feet

And as I looked into His eyes

The love was shining out from Him

Like sunlight from the skies

Guilt and my confusion

Disappeared in sweet release

And every fear I'd ever had

Just melted into peace"

Suddenly, the meaning of the song, as well as the meaning of Sue's words earlier in the week became clear. He was forgiven. Just as Jesus forgave a man who ran off, and scared for his own life, denied he even knew Him, Jesus forgave Jack for the mistakes of his past. He nearly came off the seat as the strong voice began to sing the chorus.

"He's alive He's alive

Yes He's alive and I'm forgiven

Heaven's gates are open wide

He's alive yes He's alive

Oh He's alive and I'm forgiven

Heaven's gates are open wide

He's alive He's alive

He's alive and I'm forgiven

Heaven's gates are open wide

He's alive He's alive He's alive"

In all of Jack's Easters as a Christian, he had never truly understood the meaning of the words as he did now. Because Christ was alive, he had hope for his future. No matter his past, forgiveness was his for the taking. As he felt a soft hand take his own, he looked into the eyes of the woman beside him. Never would she realize what she had given him. If not for her, he would always have carried that burden of guilt with him. Only because she had reminded him of God's forgiveness, had he realized the true meaning of this song today.

Sue could see a difference in the eyes that looked back at her, and though she was unsure of all that was going on in his heart, she was pretty sure that Jack had finally accepted the forgiveness that had been his all along. Smiling back at him, she turned her attention back towards the interpreter and listened as the pastor talked about the amazing God we serve. The only God Who has defeated death. Her heart thrilled at the thought of what Easter was all about, and that this Easter she got to share it with Jack.

_Lyrics for He's Alive by Don Francisco_


	20. Chapter 20

Sitting across from Coach and Molly on Monday afternoon, both Sue and Jack were amazed by all that had transpired over the weekend. Jack's father had come to Jack after church Sunday afternoon, and broke down, asking him to forgiveness for the years of pain he had caused. The fact that Jack had been forgiven so much made it easier to accept his father. They had sat together over the next hours, laughing, crying, and truly getting to know one another in a way that had escaped them over Jack's lifetime. At the end of the evening, he and Sue had gone for a long walk, and he had talked to her about the song that had spoken so deeply to him at church. She had shared with him her own mistakes, even opening up about the time when she had come close to breaking her own vow to God, only because she wanted to fit in. Then she had shown him a locket which she happened to be wearing, explaining that her father had given it to her. "I made a commitment to God and to my future husband that day." Her eyes had looked deep into him as she spoke. "If my father had not given me this necklace as a reminder, I would have broken that commitment. Who knows where my life would have ended up. It was hard, at the time, and I was looked down on, but now, I am glad. There is only one man who I have ever wanted my father to give the key to this heart to, and I am glad that when he does, I will be able to give him something that no one else has ever had."

Tears had come freely as they spoke. Jack's voice had broken, as he pulled her into his arms. "I don't deserve you."

"I didn't mean to suggest that-" she fumbled, as she realized what her last statement might have sounded like.

"I know what you meant, and I am honored."

Sue had smiled that trademark smile, and he knew she was getting ready to bring him down. "Oh you thought I meant you?"

"Oh, so you didn't? Well then, I guess I should not do this anymore." With that he had allowed his lips to kiss hers for the briefest of moments, then pulled back.

"I might could be convinced." The teasing glint was still in her eyes, as he had kissed her again, but soon all teasing was set aside, as they both felt the passion begin to build with each kiss.

Finally, he had pulled away, feeling that he had to get a handle on the situation. "No teasing now. I want a future with you, Sue. I want you to know that."

"I don't have a future without you." Her voice had been soft. It had whispered to his soul a promise that elated him beyond words. Together they had turned and headed back to his parent's home, each knowing what a serious turn their relationship had taken that night.

Watching, now, at Molly and Coach's obvious chemistry after being married so long, Sue wondered what it would be like when she and Jack were older. She prayed that God would always protect their relationship, and that they would learn to love each other more each day. There was no doubt, that to keep a marriage together, it would be work, but it was a work that Sue looked forward to.

Through the afternoon, Jack and Sue had discussed so many topics with the older couple, that they were surprised they still had not run out of things to talk about. Through a natural progression of conversation, the topic of how the young couple had finally gotten together came up. The couple was surprised as they heard that Jack was on the plane that had now been dubbed "The miracle on the Hudson". They all had a good laugh as they thought about the fact that Hudson was in the Hudson. Then Sue watched as Jack told the rest, leaving nothing out. She watched as his eyes teared up when he told the story that had caused him to wait so long to pursue a relationship with her. When he spoke of the thoughts of disappointing Coach, she looked towards the man opposite Jack. She saw no condemnation there, only love. As he came to the end of the story, Sue turned her attention to Molly. There was a look of love on her face too, but something more than that. A look of understanding. As if these emotions were something that she had felt before.

It was Molly who spoke first. "Have we ever told you why we have no children?" Jack said nothing, just shook his head. Sue watched as Molly looked towards her husband, and without a word between the two of them, he nodded.

"Molly and I have someplace we would like to take you." Coach spoke now, even as he stood.

Together the four rode in silence, until they reached a building nearly 30 minutes from where they had left. A sign in the front announced that the building was the home of a crisis pregnancy center. Jack got out, and then helped Sue out, and together they moved behind the Smiths. They walked around to the back of the building where they were greeted by rows of small white crosses. Without stopping, Molly led the group to one of the crosses which had been decorated with yellow flowers. "This is where we remember our baby, Jack." Tears streamed down her face as she spoke. "The one we threw away...the only one I could ever have."

Coach took over, while pulling her to his side. "We were young, and in love. Both of us knew we wanted a life together. Neither of us had a great family life, and we were both hurting. When we found out she was pregnant we were scared. There was no question that if we had told our families, we both would have been kicked out. At the time, abortion was still illegal, but there were places to go. Neither of us wanted to do it, but we thought we had no choice. Of course, we did." He stopped for a moment, getting himself back together. "Shortly after the abortion, we went our separate ways, finding it too hard to be together. It was a short time after we split up that a friend introduced me to Christ. Each day I would dig into His word, and as I was growing, I found he had truly forgiven me of everything, even this. Every night I would pray that Molly would find the same peace He had given me. And every night I would feel like He was telling me to call her. For a year I ignored it. Then one day, I took a chance. Unbelievably, she was still at the same number, and she didn't hang up on me. We met for lunch, and I shared with her what I had learned of the forgiveness of God. She left that day promising to think about it. A week later, she returned my call, and she gave her heart to the Savior. We both still loved each other, and we began dating again, but instead of being a relationship of two people who were hurting, it was now a relationship of two people who were growing in our love for the Savior and for each other."

Molly, who was now much more composed, took over from where he had left off. "A couple of years after we got married, we realized that something was wrong. We had tried to have a baby, but never were able to get pregnant. A visit to the doctor revealed that the abortion had left me sterile. It sent me into a depression that nearly dissolved our marriage. Finally, I got some good Christian counseling, and we were able to move on. Since then though, I have been able to help others who have gone through the same thing, or those who are thinking about it. We both have in fact. Too often, the man's pain because of an abortion gets overlooked. However, we have ministered to many men who have felt the same weight of guilt you spoke of. After all, it is not just tissue-a part of the woman's body. If you took the DNA of that embryo, you find the father's mark is already there. It affects both the man and the woman. It is a side of the process that needs to be exposed."

"Jack," Coach's voice was hoarse with emotion. "You can make a difference. You have a point of reference that can help others. Remember the story of Jonah." Jack listened with interest. "What happened to the men on the boat when they threw him overboard?" Jack said nothing, but instead waited for the point his mentor would give him. "They made sacrifices to Jonah's God. They believed. Jonah's sin caused a boat full of men to turn to God! God can use anything Jack. Even this."

"If you want a place to remember, they have crosses inside. For us, it was closure. We are going inside for awhile. Feel free to have a tour of the center. They do great work here. Take your time." With that Sue and Jack were left alone.

Jack's heart was a jumble as he tried to process all he had just heard. He felt Sue's hand touch his, and he wrapped his fingers around hers. Looking into her hazel eyes, he tried to find the words to say what was in his heart. "For years, I assumed that one moment in my past defined me. I worked out my own penance, thinking that if I never loved again, I could somehow pay for the sins of my past. Yet, here I am, loving and being loved by the most amazing woman in the world. Completely and totally forgiven by the God of the universe, and understood by the man who taught me more about life and God than any person I ever knew. I have come to the conclusion that this is the moment that defines me. The moment when I decide what I will do with my past, and my future. The moment when I realize and accept the forgiveness of God. This is my defining moment." He moved his free hand to hold her other hand, and savored this moment. "Sue, there is no one in my life that I want to spend these moments with-no one but you. I have no ring, and this is not a romantic spot, but I want to ask you now, during this moment in my life. Will you spend your life with me? I can't promise you much, but I promise you this." He took her right hand and lifted it to sit over his heart, allowing her to feel the strong, hard beats. "I promise that I will love you, and that this heart will beat only for you, for as long as I live. I love you Sue, and I want nothing more than to be there for you for the rest of our lives."

With tears streaming down her face, Sue smiled. "Yes." With that she moved in, and finding his lips with her own she sought to find a way to express to him all that her heart felt at that moment.

After a few moments they moved in together. Together they accepted a tour of the center, and then they walked outside again with a hammer and a little white cross. Jack moved to the edge of the rows, and hammered it into the ground. Then, together they said goodbye to the child Jack would never know until he reached Heaven.


	21. Chapter 21

The following week, Jack and Sue went back to the bullpen, her hand weighted down with the diamond that he had bought for her before they left Wisconsin. Everyone was ecstatic, though slightly sad to see Jack move out of their office. Bobby more than made up for the others lack of enthusiasm when he found out that Jack would be moving to the same unit as he was currently working.

Cases were interspersed with wedding talk, and time gave way to summer before anyone even realized it was coming. Though there had been several teasing comments about how slow the two had been in getting together, the overwhelming feeling as they stood in the church in mid-June was of thankfulness and excitement. No one who had ever seen Jack and Sue together could think of either of them without the other.

In the back, before the ceremony began, Sue's father spoke to Jack with the love of a father, and the respect of a man. "My daughter has loved you for a while, and we are excited to welcome you into our family. Both my wife and I have come to respect you, and love you as a son. However, if you ever hurt Sue, I will kill you myself." Jack grinned slightly, although he was sure that the man in front of him truly believed what he was saying. Mr. Thomas then reached into his pocket, retrieving a small velvet box. Opening it, Jack saw a small key, and he immediately knew what it was. "I gave Sue a heart the day she turned 16, for a long time she wore it all the time. We taught Sue, and her brothers, that her body was a gift for only one man-the man she would marry. Sue always had a sensitive nature to her, and I remember the look in her eyes as I took the key to that locket and placed it in this box. I told her that one day I would give that key to her husband. Some time before she moved to D.C. I heard her in her room. She was crying. When I stepped in, she had the locket in her hands. Concerned, I asked what was wrong. She simply said that she had been praying for her husband, though she didn't know you at the time. I just thought you should know that." Extending the package to Jack, he took it reverently.

"Thank you for telling me that, sir. I will do all that is in my power to cherish this gift she has given me. Believe me when I tell you that I do not take it lightly." Fingering the small key, Jack realized that he and Sue had been connected long before they ever met in person. Through their years apart, God had been molding them for each other. It was a humbling moment as he realized all that he had been blessed with. Today Sue would pledge her life to him, even as he pledged his to her. They would stand before God and their friends and family, promising to love each other through better or worse, until death parted them. Tonight they would come together, sharing a bond that God had ordained for husband and wife. In every way possible, the two would become one. He still battled guilt as he considered that she had saved herself for this night. The past sin still trying to poke its ugly head into his thoughts, but he refused to listen. Forgiveness had given him a new start, and a new ministry. A verse popped into his mind. "As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us." (Psalm 103:12) Thankfulness sprang from a place deep in his heart, as he moved into the sanctuary to await his bride.

Sue smiled at the look on Jack's face as she entered. The whole family stood in front of her...Myles, Bobby and D stood beside Jack, and Tara and Lucy stood next to her empty spot. Seated on the front rows was her mother as her father walked her down the isle. On the other side Jack's parents were sitting beside Molly and Coach. Jack had been unsure how he wanted Coach to be involved in the ceremony. The desire to show him how much he meant to him was foremost in Jack's mind, but he didn't want to overstep his bounds or cause his own parents to feel slighted. However, after they had sat down and had a long talk with Mr. and Mrs. Hudson, they both felt at peace having them sit with his parents, and giving them a special note in the wedding program. It had been Molly who had come to Sue just a few hours earlier, thanking her for all that she had done for Jack, and assuring her that she and Coach thought of her like a daughter. "Jack has always been like a son to us, and we are so happy to see him do so well in picking a wife." The words had warmed Sue's heart, and caused tears to form in her eyes as she hugged the older woman.

Thinking back over the last several months, Sue was amazed at how much Jack had grown in his relationship with the Lord. Though she had loved Jack for a long time, she loved him even more now than she thought was possible. The fact that he had started a small group with other men who had dealt with the loss of abortion caused her heart to soar. Bliss was the only word that could describe what she felt as she walked towards him, knowing that from now until the end of time, she was his and he was hers.

Later that evening, Jack took the small key and opened the long ago sealed locket. Inside was a picture of Sue at sixteen, and a small note folded into a little ball. Opening it, Sue's handwriting welcomed Jack. "To my future. I look forward to the day when together we will read this, and I will forever be yours." Looking into Sue's eyes, he saw the crimson start to rise in her cheeks. "That sounds so silly." She smiled at him.

"No, Sue. It is not silly. This is the most precious gift I have ever been given. To think that all those years ago, you already thought of me. I am truly humbled." Leaning towards her he kissed her softly. "And Sue, I will forever be yours."


	22. Chapter 22

"Jack?" Sue's voice was fading fast, as she had used it more than usual today.

"Yes honey."

"We have to get going." She signed when she was close enough for him to see her.

"Where are we going again?" Sue rolled her eyes. This was typical. He had forgotten.

"To the party dear." She patted his hand, and he looked into her eyes.

"Help me up." A smile played on his lips, and he let his eyebrows move up and down suggestively.

"You are far too old to be thinking like that, Hudson."

"Ok, Ok. I am getting up. But I will have you know that 85 is not that old!"

Hand in hand the couple moved slowly down the hall of the retirement home. When they walked into the large cafeteria, they were welcomed by streamers and signs. Looking towards one table they saw Myles and Lucy, who had hooked up again after her first husband had passed away. Bobby and Tara were dozing beside them, and D's children sat next to Sue and Jack's own children. Moving forward, Jack smiled at the friends that he had made since he and Sue had come to live here.

From the front of the room, a voice boomed into the microphone. It was his oldest son. "My mom and dad have been the best friends I have had my entire life. They have taught me the way to live, and in Whom I should put my trust. Today they celebrate their fiftieth wedding anniversary. Of course, if Dad had not been such a turtle, they could have celebrated it a couple of years ago." The Hudson smile that Sue loved appeared on the face of the man holding the microphone, and several people in the audience laughed at the mention of his turtle status. "However, in God's timing, these two amazing people came together. When I was a teenager, my father told me a story. He told me of a mistake he had made in his youth, and of the consequences that he endured because of it. But more importantly, he shared with me of the forgiveness he found in his Heavenly Father. Because of his life and Mom's, me and all my siblings have come to find that same forgiveness. Dad, Mom, you have given us more than we could ever ask for. You have loved us and each other in good and bad times. I just want to say thank you."

With tears in his eyes, Jack took Sue's hand. Together they moved to the mic his son had just laid down. Sue was afraid of what he would say, since his memory had not been good lately, and he often forgot what he was saying in the middle of a sentence. However, she would never stop him from speaking. "Thank you Son. And thank all of you. I have been blessed beyond measure. Blessed with good friends, great family, and the love of the most amazing woman in the world. More than that, I have been blessed with the love of the Savior. It is only because of this woman beside me that I realized how great that love truly is." Looking deep into her eyes, he looked past the wrinkles and gray hair, and the few extra pounds she carried. What he saw there was the vision of the woman he had loved since the moment she had set foot in his office over 55 years ago. Memories flashed through his mind...memories of an undercover kiss so long ago. Shared looks across a bullpen. A plane crash that forced him to say what his heart had known for so long. A day standing behind a crisis pregnancy center where he laid his guilt to rest, and asked her to marry him. Their children being born. On and on the memories moved through his mind. Each moment chiseling him, molding him to become who God wanted him to be. Every minute with her defining him. There was only one thing he could say to her. A promise he had made her so many years ago...a promise she made to him even before she met him. Fingering a key that he had in his pocket he spoke the words that he had said many times before, "Sue, I will forever be yours."


End file.
